


An Unknown Feeling

by LittleRedWriter



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), James Buchanan Barnes - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics), the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Bucky - Freeform, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Captain America, F/M, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), SHIELD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedWriter/pseuds/LittleRedWriter
Summary: Neeva was taken from her village as a child and raised at S.H.I.E.L.D where they trained her to use her powers and taught her how to be a living weapon.  She didn't know what life had to offer until Tony Stark took her in and taught her how to be a kid. Once Steve Rogers thawed from the ice, Steve and Neeva became inseparable. From years of hearing Steve's stories, Neeva unknowingly falls in love with a ghost, the Winter Soldier.





	1. Chapter 1

"Steve, it's time to wake up," Neeva groaned as his alarms went off. The super soldier's arm squeezed her tighter to him. "Stevie," she groaned again, trying to wiggle her way out of his grip.

"Five more minutes," the super soldier yawned.

"Fine, we'll do this the hard way," she muttered to herself before dropping her body temperature, her pale, white skin turning a pale blue. Soon, the super soldier was shivering.

"Neeva," he groaned as he loosened his grip on her, allowing her to escape. 

"Thank you," she sang, hopping out of bed and making her way to the bathroom. She glanced in the mirror, her pale, blond, curly hair sticking out in every direction. She groaned before grabbing a spray bottle full of water and conditioner, mixed together. She sprayed her hair, reshaping her curls as she went before she was finally happy with the way her curls laid. She took a moment to look at her reflection again. She sighed as she took in the appearance of the Finnish girl in front of her. If there was anyway to describe her, it was pale. Pale, icy eyes and her pale skin was sprinkled with freckles. She wished her heritage wasn't so obvious, she tried to forget her time in Finland. 

At the age of three, it was discovered she had powers. They were unstable, she was unpredictable. She had the power to control water, ice, and wind. For three years, her village lived in fear. No one knew when she would start another tornado or snowstorm, or when she would throw shards of ice at those who upset her. Her parents couldn't handle her and they begged for someone to take her, but no psyche ward or institute was brave enough to take her in.

One day, S.H.I.E.L.D. came to the village, they wanted to place an agent in the village to help her learn her powers in her own home, but her parents refused. They only wanted help if they would take her away, entirely. So, Fury did. He took her in and she lived on base where she trained, constantly. They taught her how to control her powers, to push them beyond their limits. They taught her how to fight in hand-to-hand combat, lie, scheme, and kill. She was a living weapon, their strongest agent by the age of ten. She was emotionless, hostile, aggressive, and rarely talked to anyone. The perfect weapon.

She was twelve when she met Tony Stark. He was different from the agents that she lived and trained with. He wasn't there to train her, change her, order her around, or take advantage of her powers. He found her on accident, he just happened to be in the building when she was training. He watched her closely, noticing how robotic she was when she wasn't fighting. He waited for her to finish training and then asked her what her name was and what she liked to do.

"Like to do?" she asked him, confused. "I train, I fight."

"Do you have any hobbies?" he was shocked as she shook her head, he couldn't believe that this twelve year old girl didn't have any hobbies. "What time do you finish training tomorrow?"

"I train from eight until three," she told him and he couldn't believe this child spent the entire day learning to fight.

"Is it okay if I come visit tomorrow?" he asked and she nodded, not sure why this man wanted to come visit her. But the next day, he was there at three exactly. He had an entire box of things when he showed up -- paint, easels, instruments, ballet and tap shoes, knitting needles and yarn, clay to sculpt.

That first evening, he taught her how to paint -- something he knew himself. He came back every afternoon at three and stayed until she started to get tired. In a weeks time, she was better at painting than him. During that first week, he went home at night and learned how to play the violin and once he knew enough, he would start teaching Neeva how to play violin. Then as she was learning how to play violin, he'd go home at night and learn how to dance.

Three weeks into their lessons, she smiled for the first time. After a month and a half, she laughed for the first time. He was the only person to have ever heard her laugh. She trusted Tony, he was the only person that treated him like an actual kid, who wanted her to have fun. After she laughed, he asked her if she would like to come live with him. She looked around her small, grey, concrete room, it had a dresser and a twin sized bed and was filled with their paintings and supplies. She smiled at him and nodded, and that night he took her back to the Stark Tower. He already had her room set up, it was painted a light lavender, a color she used a lot when they painted. There was a huge bed in the middle, surrounded by a canopy. There was an extravagant doll house, a reading nook by the window, a huge vanity filled with play makeup, and a closet full of clothes. She smiled at him shyly and he squeezed her hand, excited to show her how to be a kid.

After a ton of arguing and yelling, Fury agreed that while in his custody, she didn't have to train. She didn't have to be an agent anymore. When she was old enough, she could decide if she wants to be an agent or not.

Tony taught her what humanity was, how to have feelings and emotions. She still struggled most of the time with communicating her thoughts and feelings but at least she had those feelings. If it wasn't or Tony adopting her ten years ago, she would be nothing but a cold-blooded killer.

"I'll be back in about an hour, I have to meet with Maria," Steve called, pulling her from her thoughts.

"Be safe," she yelled through the door. Steve was her best friend, he was protective and watched both Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D., making sure they didn't take advantage of her again. Neeva was only fifteen when they pulled his body out of the ice. Every day, she would visit him, waiting for him to wake up. When he finally woke up, she helped him to adjust to this life and he shared stories about his past with her.

She looked forward the most to his stories about him and Bucky, his best friend. They were the perfect compliment to each other, Bucky pushed Steve out of this comfort zone and Steve helped to reign Bucky in. 

Neeva felt sad when Steve talked about Bucky, knowing she would never get the chance to meet him. But they talked about him almost every day, even discussing stories that Steve told her a dozen times before.

She sighed, deciding to get ready so they could leave when Steve returned. Her routine was simple; a little brow gel to add color to her pale brows, a curl of her lashes and a coat of mascara, a quick swipe of bronzer and blush to add some color to skin, a little highlighter to make her skin glow and a gloss on her lips to finish the look. She hung out in the living room of their D.C. apartment, reading a random book from Steve's shelf. Her phone buzzed, a message from Steve appeared on her screen.

 _You should be here._ It read and her stomach dropped to her feet. Steve tries to keep her from going into headquarters, it must be serious. She changed quickly, pulled a hat down low, and put on a pair of sunglasses. A car was waiting for her outside and she arrived at headquarters within no time. She walked around the base, looking for everyone. She finally stumbled across everyone in the conference room. Steve looked furious and Tony was trying to talk to him.

Neeva walked into the room, everyone stared at her.

"Neeva, what are you doing here?" her father asked.

"She has every right to know, she should have been here to begin with," Steve told him.

"You had no right -- " Tony started.

"She's twenty-two, a legal adult that gets to decide where she stands. You had no right to keep her out of this, Tony," he glared at her father. 

"What's going on..." she finally asked and Natasha handed her a book, "SOKOVIA ACCORDS," was printed across the front. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion and she began to thumb through the pages.

"The Act is a piece of legislation that requires all enhanced individuals to reveal their secret identities and disclose their powers for regulation," Steve summarized and she gasped, her mouth hanging open. "The Avengers would no longer be a private organizations, we'd be supervised by the United Nations, when they deem it necessary. We have two choices, sign and only use our abilities with permission, or retire." 

"It's because of Lagos," Wanda said softly and Neeva looked at her sympathetically.

"Who all is signing this?" Neeva asked the room, but was looking straight at her father.

"I am," he said to her and she gasped.

"You would sign something that would force me to reveal who I am? What I can do? What S.H.I.E.L.D. trained me to do?"

"We have a responsibility to protect --" 

"You have a responsibility to protect her daughter," she cut him off. "I can't believe you would actually agree to signing this."

"Neeva, you have to understand --" 

"You didn't invite me to this meeting because you knew I wouldn't agree," she told him. Steve's phone buzzed and the distraction caused her to break eye contact with her father and glance over to him. His entire face fell, then became stone. "Steve?" she questioned as he stood up, heading to the door.

"I have to go," he said and she glared at her father before following him.

"Steve," she called after him. He turned around, a tear slipping from his eye. "Peggy," she whispered softly and he nodded. She took him into his arms, a sob shook through his body. "Not here," she said before taking his hand and leading him out of headquarters and to his bike. "I can drive," she said and he scoffed.

"I'm upset, not crazy," he gave her a sad smile and handed her a helmet. She hopped on behind him, wrapping her arms around him. Her heart broke for Steve, knowing how much Peggy meant to him. They were going to visit her today, part of their usual Saturday plans. They'd visit the Smithsonian then Steve would go to the nursing home. Neeva came with him several times, after Peggy asked to meet his best friend that he would catch himself rambling on about. Peggy was at a home in D.C., but the funeral would most likely be in London. Neeva already knew that she'd be going with Steve to London, she knew she wouldn't be leaving his side.


	2. Chapter 2

Neeva sat in the back of the church during the service. She gave him his space, but was never far away from him. The only person from the super soldier's past was gone, the last piece of his past life was gone. Peggy was the love of his past life, those feelings never went away. Neeva knew that, that's why Steve visited her every Saturday. He was clinging on to both the last piece of his life before the ice and the love of his life. 

When the ceremony ended, Neeva slipped out on her own, Steve asked for some time alone after the ceremony and she understood. She found a local coffee shop around the corner from the church and ordered a cappuccino before curling up into a large, plush chair by the window. After settling into the chair, the barista brought Neeva over an oversized mug. The mug was warm in her always frozen hands, a side effect of her powers. She watched as the traffic went by, her mind drifting off.

If Steve was never frozen in the ice, would he and Peggy have gotten married, had children? Would she have grown old by his side while he aged at a slower pace than her? If Bucky would have never fallen from that freight car, would the three of them have lived on the same street, Bucky and his wife living in a house a few houses down from Steve? Neev's stomach dropped to her feet, thinking about Bucky with a wife. She scrunched her eyebrows, confused by the feeling. Before she could question it more, she heard a gasp across the cafe. She was ripped from her thoughts and her eyes flew to the TV in the cafe. An explosion, an explosion where they were signing the Accords. She pulled out her phone, pressing one, Steve's speed dial.

"Did you see the news?" she asked as soon as he answered, saying her name. She couldn't take her eyes off the screen.

"I'm with Sharon and Sam now," he said. "Where are you?"

"I'm --" Neeva started and then gasped. The feeling came back, her stomach hit her feet, her hands were shaking and colder than normal.

"Neeva! Neeva, what's wrong?" She could hear Steve asking. "NEEVA!" he yelled, pulling her from her thoughts. 

"I-is, is that Bucky?" she asked him, her voice breathless and broken.

"Neeva," Steve started, not sounding surprised. 

"What the hell is going on, Steve?" she asked and he sighed. 

"Where are you?" he asked her again.

"A coffee shop around the corner from the church," she told him. He was on his way, the coffee mug shook in her hands. She took a drink but the liquid in the mug was ice cold. She cursed herself, her nerves getting the better of her. She let her power get the better of her, she was trained better than this. She was still cursing herself when Steve arrived, neither Sam or Sharon were with him.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked him again and he sat beside him, resting his head in his hands. "Rogers!" she yelled and he jumped. 

"Neeva --"

"Was that really Bucky?"

"I don't think so --"

"But you aren't sure? Why is there any doubt in your mind? Why aren't you more surprised!?" 

"Because --"

"Because what? Because you knew that he was alive?"

"Would you let me finish a sentence?" he asked, frustrated. She closed her mouth, shocked. "Do you remember a couple years ago, the attack on D.C.?" She nodded, wanting him to continue. "There had been rumors, Natasha told me a couple years ago that their were rumors of HYDRA still existing. Apparently they had this assassin that they called the Winter Soldier. Supposedly he was completely under their control, they brainwashed him and programmed him to be the perfect weapon. He had no thoughts of his own, no control of his doings. The only thing he knew was to get the job done, to complete the mission... to kill. Any time he disobeyed, questioned anything, or had a thought of his own -- they wiped his mind clean, reseting him." She scrunched her eyebrows, wondering what any of this had to do with Bucky. "The Winter Soldier was part of the attack on D.C. When things started to go south, I asked Tony to take you out of town --"

"Why? I'm an Avenger, I could have helped," she finally interrupted and he glared at her, hushing her again.

"I knocked the Winter Soldier's mask off during combat and... it was Bucky," he told her and she gasped at the sound of his name, her stomach falling to her feet again. She couldn't figure out what the feeling was.

"But why wouldn't you let me help, or even tell me?"

"Because I know you're in love with him," Steve looked at her sadly. Her eyebrows scrunched together, confused by his words.

"What are you talking about?" she asked him.

"You can be honest with me, Neevie, I figured it out years ago. Somehow, through all my stories, our visits to the Smithsonian -- somehow you fell in love with a ghost."

"That's impossible, I've never met him," she laughed anxiously and he looked at her seriously. Confusion filled his face, his eyebrows scrunched together this time -- something he picked up from spending so much time with her.

"Neeva, do you not know?" he asked her, a sad expression on his face. She cocked her head to the side, her eyebrows scrunched again and he sighed. It was clear to him that she had no idea what he was talking about

"Neevie, have you ever been in love?" he asked her softly.

"Well I love you," she smiled at him and he smiled sadly at her.

"I know you love me," he said softly. "And you know I love you, but that's not the same thing as being in love, doll. Loving someone is a choice, you can choose to love someone. Being in love is something that can happen without you even realizing it. It's being completely infatuated with someone, consumed by your feelings for them. Your heart stops at the mention of their name, your stomach drops to your feet when you think of them, you can't control it. It's hard to explain..." he sighed and she sat there, thinking over everything he said. "Just -- think about it. I've seen love and I've been in love, I know what it usually looks like. I've watched you hang on to every word I say about him, I've watched your eyes light up when someone says his name, and I watch the way you study the exhibit in the Smithsonian. But I also know how you were raised -- how your family treated you, how S.H.I.E.L.D. raised you. They raised you to be a weapon, and if it weren't for Tony... you probably would be a compliant assassin, just like Bucky. You don't need to say anything, but you deserve to know," he finished. It was silent between them, she didn't know how to react, but she could still here the news in the background.

"What do we do now?" she asked him quietly. 

"Sharon has a lead on where he is, we have to find him before someone else does," he told her and she jumped up. He followed her out of the little cafe, Sam was waiting outside with a car.

"Did you know?" she asked Sam, he looked at her in the rear view mirror for a second before nodding. She scoffed, annoyed that she was left out of this.

"I was just trying to protect you," Steve said from the passenger seat. Neeva nodded, knowing he did what he thought was right.

"What are we going to do about the Accords?" she asked from the back seat, wanting to change the subject.

"It was finalized," Steve told her and she practically growled.

"So what does that mean for us?" she asked him and he sighed.

"If you help us find Bucky, we'll all be considered criminals," Steve said and she nodded.

"Well, it's about time I disappointed my father," she said and Steve laughed for the first time that week.


	3. Chapter 3

She listened to every word he said through the comms. His voice deep, husky, and low. He talked slowly, lying to Steve about the fact that he remembered who Steve was.

"I've been compromised," Sam's voice cut through Neeva's thoughts. She heard commotion over Steve's comm, he was fighting. Neeva flew off the building she was standing on and shot ice throw the window, breaking it so she could fly through it.

"If you do this, Black Ice.." Steve started, using her code name, but she punched a guy in the face before he could finish his sentence. Bucky looked at her, confused -- her heart dropped through the floor when his eyes met hers. Before she could react, he ran out of the apartment. Steve followed him, fighting off men as he went. She followed, refusing to let Bucky get away again. 

Bucky jumped from a balcony of the window and Neeva followed, flying after him. Steve hesitated, unsure of if he’d make the jump. Neeva was closing in on Bucky when he was suddenly tackled to the ground. The attacker was in all black and wore a panther mask. The masked attacker shocked her, causing her to lose focus. She fell onto the roof of the building and rolled a few feet away from them. She was still taken by surprise as she watched the two of them fight. Finally, she snapped to her senses and helped Bucky. She compressed the air around the cat, forcing him in place, unable to move.

A helicopter appeared over head, spraying bullets upon them. The bullets bounced off of both hers and the cats suits. Steve called on Sam to assist with the helicopter and she watched as he dive-bombed it. Bucky used the distraction to run, jumping from the building. The stranger followed, he was determined to get Bucky and Neeva couldn't help but to wonder why. Neeva followed them both, flying as fast as she could after them. She froze the ground ahead of the cat, catching him off guard. He slid across the ice, tumbling as he lost traction. Wind started to gush towards Bucky, making it harder for him to run away.

“Bucky, please,” she shouted after him. “Let us help you.”

He stopped for a moment to look at her, for a moment she thought he would stop running. His eyes shifted slightly right before he jumped into the traffic tunnel below them. Before she could jump after him, the man dressed as a cat threw her out of the way, jumping in after Bucky. 

“Fuck,” she mumbled before flying after them both, flying just above the vehicles. 

“Are you okay, Ice?” Steve asked over the comms and she looked down to see him running beneath her.

“Someone get that fucking cat,” she hissed.

“He looks more like a panther,” Sam joked.

“Not now, Sam,” she growled. Steve stopped a vehicle and forced the driver out of the car before speeding through the tunnels, passing the cat and getting closer to Bucky. Neeva flew faster after Bucky, getting closer to him as he jumped over and dove between cars. She heard sirens around her as she chased after him, saw lights flashing, heard Steve and Sam talking over the comms, but all she could focus on was reaching him. She pushed the wind behind her, creating a force that would slow down the police. They dodged into the other lane as cops started to come towards them, Neeva forced a gush of wind at them, forcing their cars back.

Bucky punched a guy off of his bike below her, spinning it around and getting on it. She pushed ahead of him, Neeva had a millisecond of an open window and a slim chance of this working, but she tried. She relaxed her body, free falling until she landed perfectly on the bike.

“Who the hell are you?” he exclaimed.

“A friend of Steve’s,” she told him.

“There's nothing you can do, it’s too late,” he said to her.

“We’re not going to give up on you, we know it wasn’t you.”

“You don’t even know me,” he told her and before she could respond, the panther ripped her off the back of the bike, throwing her into traffic. Her dad’s nanotech kicked in and a helmet appeared around her, just before she hit the ground. She rolled just in time as a car came her way and then she felt Sam picking her up out of the traffic.

“A for effort,” Sam told her. "A+ for that landing." She scoffed and flew out of his grip. “Neeva!” he tried to warn her, but she didn't hear him in time.

The entrance to the tunnel exploded above her and she lost control, flying forward. She crashed to the ground hard, right next to a fallen Bucky. Before she could get back up to fight, they were surrounded by cars. Bucky helped to peel her off the ground and when she was finally standing, just as Rhodey landed next to them.

“Stand down, now,” he warned, his guns pointing at theme. “Congratulations, Cap, you’re a criminal.” 

Agents surrounded them, pushing Bucky to the ground. Neeva looked around, realizing there was nothing they could do. Falcon was being ushered towards them by men with guns, Cap was being cuffed.

“Your highness,” she heard Rhodey say and when she looked, she saw the cat without his mask, revealing the King of Wakanda. 

“He didn’t do it,” Neeva told Rhodey as she took her mask off. “Bucky didn’t do it,” she yelled at him. "He was framed."

“Neeva, you’ve broken your father’s heart today,” he said solemnly as an agent began to cuff her. “And for what? For Cap? For some assassin you don’t even know? Do you even realize what’s about to happen to you?” he yelled at her.

“This was bound to happen the second the Accords were signed,” she yelled, fighting against the agent trying to take her towards the truck. “I’m not like you, I can’t just take my powers off at the end of the day. It's not just a suit for me” she screamed at him before someone punched her. Just before she passed out, she heard someone yell something, but she couldn’t tell who.

 

She groaned loudly when she woke up, feeling a sharp pain on the right side of her face. 

“Fuck,” she cursed as her hands immediately went to her face.

“Great, you’re awake,” she heard someone say, cursing when she realized who it was.

“What the actual fuck?” she asked, glaring at him.

“I should be asking you the same thing, Neeva,” her father said. “Do you realize how much trouble you are in?”

“Do you realize I was punched in the face by a fucking agent?” She asked, she cooled her hand down and pressed it to her eye. It was already starting to heal, another power of hers.

“He shouldn’t have punched you, but you shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

“I was doing the right thing,” she told him.

“Going against the Accords to help some criminal is not the right thing,” he raised his voice. 

“He’s not a criminal,” she raised her voice back. “And I still can’t believe you signed those Accords.”

“It’s the right thing to do, we need to be held accountable --”

“You mean you need to track those with special powers,” she cut him off. “Do you realize that I can’t just turn off my powers or step out of them at night? It’s not a fucking suit, Dad, it’s my life.”

“I think I can talk to Secretary Ross about the course of action he wants to take because of your actions,” he changed the subject. “I can make sure the penalty isn’t as severe for you, tell him Steve persuaded you because you’ll do anything for Steve but not your father-”

“No,” she cut him off. “I helped Steve because I wanted to help prove Bucky was innocent. Steve told me not to do this, he told me what would happen -- it was my decision. And I don’t do things for Steve, he’s just always on the right side of the battle.”

“Neeva-” he started but they arrived to headquarters and she bolted out of the car. “Neeva, you can’t just ignore this.”

“I don’t plan on ignoring it, I plan on accepting the same punishment as Sam and Steve because we were all in this together. I don’t want special treatment just because you adopted me, Tony,” she said before storming off. 

He stopped in his tracks at her words, the reality of the shift in their relationship hit him like a ton of bricks. ‘Because you adopted me, Tony,’ replayed in his ears. She didn’t say ‘because you’re my dad,” instead she emphasized that he adopted her. He felt panic course through him as he realized what was happening, as he realized what he did.

He watched Everett Ross and Sharon Carter lead her to the office they’d be holding her, Steve and Sam in. He watched his daughter be treated like a criminal, because she was one. She went against the law and now she was going to be punished for it. He realized in that moment that she wasn’t his little girl anymore, and maybe she hadn’t been for awhile. The second she turned eighteen, she got a place with Steve. She stopped calling as much, stopped visiting him. She began to argue with him more, disagreeing with him. He chalked it up to Stark stubbornness at the time, but he couldn’t help but to wonder how long she’s resented him.

Neeva sat in the glass conference room holding her frozen hand to her eye. Agents watched her from other rooms with disapproving gazes. The girl that disappointed her father, they thought, when really her father disappointed her. She could see the surveillance room from where she was and she saw a truck pull up, Steve and Sam emerged from it. Then another truck came and they unloaded a large box, Bucky was confined within it. 

No one else was in the room with her, they all went down to gather Sam, Steve, and T’Challa. Tony was on the phone with Secretary Ross somewhere, no one was there to stop her as she jumped from her seat and ran to the garage. 

“Neeva,” Steve gasped when he saw her and he ran towards her, pulling her into a hug. 

“What are they going to do to him?” she asked as she peeked around Steve, seeing Bucky contained and strapped down. He met her gaze, his stare was intense, his expression was emotionless -- but Neeva would swear that his expression softened just the slightest when he looked at her.

“Are you okay?” Steve held Neeva away from him at arm's length, looking her over.

“My face hurts,” she tried to laugh and he pulled her into a protective hug.

“Come on you two,” Everett said, causing Neeva to sigh.

“Don’t want to cause anymore trouble,” Steve whispered to her.

“I had a lovely conversation with Tony,” she whispered to him as they walked inside the base together, her holding onto his arm.

“He’s Tony now?” Steve raised a brow at her.

“He was the second he signed those Accords." When they entered the base, people were rushing around quickly. Voices were coming from every direction, Tony was talking loudly about consequences on the phone, Natasha was telling Steve he made things worse. Neeva pulled away from Steve as he was pushed into an office with Tony. She slipped behind the crowd, ducking into a stairwell. 

She collapsed on the stairs, her head in her hands. She was breathing quickly, her heart beating fast. She was just realizing how much of a mess everything was: the world thought she should be monitored because of her abilities, including her dad, her and her dad were on opposite sides of a battle, her, Steve and Sam were now considered criminals. And fuck, maybe she did have feelings for Bucky.

“Neeva?” she heard a voice call through the stairwell door but she didn’t move. Instead, she tried to steady her breathing, tried to think of something other than this fucked up situation. But all she could think about was Bucky, locked in that box for something that she was sure he didn’t do. 

She was pulled from her thoughts as Sharon opened the stairwell door. 

“Stand down, I found her,” she called. “Just give us a few minutes,” she closed the stairwell door and sat beside her. She didn’t say anything, didn’t press her with questions. She was just there for her.

“It’s all so fucked up,” Neeva finally said, her voice broken.

“I agree,” Sharon said. 

“Do you think we did the wrong thing?” Neeva asked her.

“About the Accords or Bucky?”

“Both.”

“Do you still think you did the right thing?” Sharon asked her.

“I do,” Neeva nodded.

“Then there’s your answer. That’s all that matters, Neeva.”

“I don’t see this getting any better.”

“It probably won’t,” she told her honestly. “Tony’s trying to convince Steve to sign the Accords.”

“I’m sure that’s going great,” she scoffed as she stood. “Better get back in there before the consequences get any worse.” They both left the stairwell, Sharon joined Sam and Steve in the conference room, but Neeva couldn’t bring herself to go inside. She saw Bucky on the monitor inside, she saw him locked and strapped into a box.

Her breathing started to quicken again, her heartbeat sped up. She was never supposed to meet this man, never supposed to see him. He was supposed to be dead, gone for decades. But there he was, alive and breathing. He survived, he had been abused as a weapon and Steve was right -- that could have been her. But she would have been seen as a hero because she was working for S.H.I.E.L.D., killing or S.H.I.E.L.D. 

The hypocrisy angered her, she had no control over how S.H.I.E.L.D. trained her as a child, there was nothing she could have done and the same was true for him. Bucky didn’t have any control over what Hydra did to him, he didn’t have any control over what they forced him to do. If it had been S.H.I.E.L.D. that took him in and trained him, this wouldn’t be happening. He would be seen as a hero, not a monster.

Neeva was completely lost in her thoughts when the power went out. Emergency lights started to flash, Sam and Steve bolted past her and Neeva followed. 

“What’s going on,” she yelled as they ran to the sub levels.

“That’s not a real doctor,” Steve said. “Bucky is being setup.” 

They reached where he was being held, the psychologist was laying crumpled on the ground. Steve picked him up, asking what it was that he wanted. Without a sound, Bucky emerged from the corner of the room, attacking Sam and throwing him across the room. 

Neeva looked in his eyes as he started to come towards her, this look was different than before. It was cold, almost robotic. Steve stepped between him and Neeva, trying to fight him, trying to get him to calm down. 

They fought their way across the room until Bucky pushed him hard enough that he broke through the elevator doors. Neeva could hear Steve fall down the shaft, she finally snapped into action. She threw shards of ice at the back of Bucky, he groaned as one buried itself deep into his shoulder. She angered him, grabbed his attention. She blasted him hard against the wall with cold, icy wind.

“Bucky, I know you’re in there,” she said to him, holding him back with the force of the wind. He pushed forward, determined to reach her, using his metal arm to divide the current she was forcing onto him. He lunged at her, tackling to the ground.

“Bucky, please,” she screamed from underneath him, she pushed him off of her with another blast of air and ice. “Snap out of it,” she begged him.

He had an open window every time she said something to him and he took it, punching her hard with his metal arm. The force of his punch threw her into a nearby wall and she cracked her head against it, causing her to blackout before she even hit the ground. 

“Neeva,” Steve exclaimed when he climbed out of the elevator shaft. He ran over to her, shaking her until she woke up. 

“It is not my week,” she groaned and he couldn’t help but to laugh. “Go, I’ll catch up,” she told him and he nodded. Steve took off running as Neeva stayed on the floor, dropping her body temperature until it was below freezing, the cold helped with the pain and the recovery.

More training, less Netflix marathons and donuts with Steve, she told herself as she peeled herself off the floor. She stumbled her way to the staircase and slowly made her way up them, still dizzy from the punch. When she finally made it to the ground level and outside the headquarters, people were still running away, but she didn’t see Steve or Bucky.

“Neeva,” she heard Sam say. “Come on, stay low,” he grabbed her arm to steady her and began to lead her away from the chaos.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Steve has him,” he whispered beneath his breath. Both her heart and feet stopped working for a moment and she stood frozen in place. “Now’s not the time,” Sam told her, dragging her down an alley of Berlin and stopping when he knew no one was following them. “S.H.I.E.L.D. will be looking for us, do you have anything on you that your dad might have put a tracker in?”

Her hand went to the necklace around her neck, it was a small arc reactor Tony had given her after he had been kidnapped. He assured her he would never let anything happen to her, assured her he would always be there for her. She took it off, handing it to Sam.

“It has to be, he told me to never take it off,” she shook her head, mad that she was so naive. Of course he’s been tracking her every move since then. Sam ran back out of the alley, tying it to a bike on a bike rack before jogging back to her. 

“That’ll keep him busy,” he laughed. “We have to go, incase he’s already tracking you,” he told her and she nodded. They ran down the alley, ducking around corners, cutting through stores, walking with their heads down low.

Finally, Sam ducked into an abandoned warehouse and Neeva saw Steve standing, arms crossed and his expression stern.

“Neevie,” he sounded relieved as he ran over to her, taking her into his arms. “I’m sorry, I never wanted you to get hurt,” he told her.

“It’s not your fault, I wanted to be apart of this,” she assured him.

“I feel like I really messed everything up for you,” he whispered to her. She pulled away slightly, looking up at him confused. “If it wasn’t for me and telling you all of those stories about him, you wouldn’t be so caught up in this.”

“Are you really blaming yourself for this?” she raised her brow. “Steve, yes, you are my best friend and the brother I never had, but that’s not why I’m doing this. And I’m not doing this because you think I have feelings for him,” she whispered so Sam wouldn’t hear. “I’m doing this because that could have been me. If Hydra would have gotten their hands on me before S.H.I.E.L.D. did, that could have been me. Hell, if it wasn’t for Tony stepping in, that would have been me, but I would have been controlled by the good guys so I’d be seen as a hero,” she explained. “None of this is his fault, he didn’t choose this,” he smiled at her sadly, finally understanding why this was important to her. He hugged her tighter, grateful that Tony took her in all of those years ago, 

“Hey Cap,” Sam said from across the warehouse and Steve ran towards him then into another room. Neeva followed and gasped, finding Bucky trapped with his metal arm in some machine. He was starting to come to and he didn’t have the same cold look in his eyes as earlier. 

“Steve,” Bucky said as he started to sit up.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asked him.

“Your mom’s name is Sarah,” he told him. “You used to wear newspapers in your shoes,” he laughed softly.

“You can’t read that in a museum,” Steve smirked.

“Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam asked, still on guard around the former assassin.

“What’d I do?” Bucky asked between gritted teeth. 

“Enough,” Steve told him.

“Oh god, I knew this would happen,” Bucky hung his head with shame, Neeva’s heartbroke for him. “Everything Hydra put inside of me, it’s still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words.”

“Who was he?” 

“I don’t know,” Bucky whispered.

“People are dead. The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all of that just to get ten minutes with you. I need you to do better than I don’t know,” Steve was stern with him.

“He wanted to know about Siberia,” Bucky explained. “Where I was kept, he wanted to know exactly where.”

“Why would he need to know that?”

“Because I’m not the only winter soldier,” he said. Neeva’s hand went up to her mouth, trying to stifle a gasp. Bucky looked at her, finally noticing her in the room. His eyebrows furrowed together as he watched her. The room was silent as he tried to figure her out.

“You did this?” he asked her when his memories started to come back, he glanced back at his shoulder where she got him with her ice. 

“I did,” she sounded confident but she was shaking on the inside.

“Nice shot,” he told her, causing her to look away, smiling.

“What do you mean you’re not the only winter soldier,” Steve questioned him and Bucky’s attention turned back to Steve.

And Bucky told them. He told him how he had a mission, to kill and retrieve. He told them how he stopped a car in the middle of the night that was taking a version of the super serum to D.C. He told them how he would later recognize the last name of his target when their compulsion wore off.

“Stark,” he told him and this time Neeva couldn’t help but to gasp. Steve immediately walked over to her, bending down so they were eye level, making sure she was okay.

“Neeva-” he started, ready to defend his friend.

“It wasn’t him, Steve,” she whispered to him. “I wasn’t his fault.”

“Are you okay-” 

“It’s okay, I promise,” she assured him. Bucky looked at them confused. “I was adopted when I was younger,” she started, chewing her lip nervously. “By Tony Stark.”

“I am so sorry,” he hung his head, looking ashamed and broken. She walked over to him slowly, crouching down to his level.

“It was not your fault,” she whispered. “You didn’t ask for this life, you had no control over this.” He raised his eyes, meeting her gaze. His eyes were no longer empty, no longer emotionless. Instead, they were filled with raw sadness. 

“Did I hurt you?” he asked quietly.

“I’ve already healed,” she whispered, a smile on her face. “Why don’t we get him out of this trap,” she said a little louder before standing up and Steve rushed over to release him from the machine. Bucky stretched his arms and she watched as he moved, the arm moved just like his real one.

He continued to tell them about the death squad, how they used to train against him, how they were worse than him and could barely be controlled.

“This would have been a lot easier a week ago,” Neeva heard Sam whisper to Steve. She knew the two were planning something and she left them be.

“Do you need anything?” she asked Bucky, he was full of so much shame and self loathing. She wanted to help in anyway she could, but she wasn’t sure how. 

“I don’t suppose there’s a working sink here,” he tried to joke and she laughed a little too hard. He looked at her, confused. She put one hand out in front of her, her hand flat. She brought her fingers together, drawing the water out of the air and creating a ball of water that floated above her hand.

“Can you also make a glass appear?” he asked her sarcastically, causing her to laugh. 

“Just open your mouth,” she laughed and he did so, skeptical of what she was going to do. He watched as the ball of water broke into smaller drops and one hovered into his mouth. He closed his mouth around it, swallowing the water.

“Thank you,” he told her and she nodded before popping one into her mouth as well.

“Anytime, water is everywhere,” she explained. “In the air, in the ground…”

“So can you control things that are made of water? Like people?” he asked her and she chewed her lip nervously. “I’m sorry was tha-”

“It’s okay,” she smiled softly. “Yes, I can. S.H.I.E.L.D. trained me to be able to, but I don’t like to -- not unless I have to… I think that the worst thing you can do to someone is take their free will away,” she said quietly as he looked into her eyes. 

“Choosing not to use an ability like that makes you so much stronger than if you were to use it,” he told her quietly, smiling softly at her.

“We’ll be staying here tonight,” Steve said, ending the moment the two of them were sharing. “Clint is on his way to get Wanda and another recruit, we need all the help we can get. Neeva, help me search the warehouse?”

She turned around quickly, following Steve out of the room they were in.

“No feelings, huh?” Steve asked quietly, smirking at her.

“Shut up, Steve,” she growled, causing him to laugh. 

“We don’t know what’s going to happen, maybe don’t--” he warned her.

“I’m aware,” she cut him off. They searched the warehouse in silence, they found some tarps and a few old blankets but nothing else. Steve and Neeva agreed to share a blanket and they made a makeshift bed out of the tarp in the corner. It was hot and stuffy in the old warehouse, but Neeva dropped the temperature by several degrees.

“I love when you come on missions,” Sam said across the room, causing her to laugh. “Can I get a water droplet?” he asked her and she sat up. She formed a water droplet right above his head and as she saw him open her mouth, she burst it.

“Neeva!” he exclaimed as he wiped his face, making her laugh even more.

“You forgot to say please,” she told him, making Sam and Bucky laugh.

“You’ve been around Steve way too long,” Bucky said from the middle of the room.

“No such thing,” Steve laughed.

“Please,” Sam huffed. “May I have some water?” This time, she formed the droplet and put it in his mouth. “Thank you.”

Neeva laid there awake as everyone else began to fall asleep. She could hear Sam snoring from the other corner of the room. She could even hear Bucky breathing deeper and heavier.

“Are you okay?” Steve whispered, making her jump. “Sorry,” he chuckled.

“A lot has changed in such little time,” she told him. “It’s a little overwhelming.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“Not at all,” she said. 

“I’m sorry about your grandparents.”

“That wasn’t his fault,” she whispered.

“Are you sure you’re not just overlooking it because you might have feelings for him?”

“It’s not about that,” she told him, getting tired of him insisting that everything she did had to do with feelings she was sure she didn’t have. “I don’t think we should tell Tony about his parents.”

“I agree,” Steve told her. “Try to get some rest, Neev.”

“Are you okay?” she asked him as she laid her head on his chest.

“A lot has changed in such little time,” he quoted her.

“No matter what happens, you’re still my hero, Cap,” she told him and she could tell he was smiling. He held her closer to him and before long, they both fell asleep.

Bucky laid there awake, hearing every word that they said. He only pretended to be asleep because he didn’t want to tell Steve about the nightmares, he hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. He thought about what Steve said, about how Neeva might have feelings for him. He didn’t understand how that could have happened, she just found out he was alive and in the time she’s known, he’d already knocked her out cold once and admitted to killing her grandparents.

He laid there awake all night, fighting sleep until morning. He wondered what Steve told Neeva about him, if he told her anything about him. He wondered if she knew that he tried to kill him when he was still the Winter Soldier a few years ago, he wondered where she was during that. He wondered why she was on the opposite side of a battle from her father. He wondered if she was helping Steve, or helping him.


	4. Chapter 4

“This is our getaway car?” Bucky laughed as they walked up to the old, beat-up bug.

“We need to be discreet,” Steve sighed. Neeva got in the back seat behind Steve and Sam took shotgun, smirking in the mirror at her as Bucky climbed into the car beside her. She glared at him throw the mirror and he couldn’t help but to laugh as Steve drove away.

“Clint has Wanda,” Sam said as he checked his phone. Sam and Steve talked in the front seat, going over different scenarios of what could happen.

“Who are Clint and Wanda?” Bucky asked Neeva quietly.

“Clint, also known as Hawkeye, is a retired S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and master archer and Wanda is an enhanced individual that can alter reality,” she explained.

“So, are powers a lot more common in this century?” he asked, causing her to smile.

“Not usually,” she told him. “It’s just something we encounter more in our line of work. Wanda’s powers were given to her by an object from space, but I was born with mine.”

“And what’s he do?” Bucky looked to Sam and she smirked.

“Oh, he’s just a bird brain,” she said just loud enough so he could hear.

“Hey,” Sam turned around quickly. “I’m ex-military, I was part of military project using winged jetpacks-”

“Basically he just flies around and shoots people,” Neeva cut him off and he glared at her before turning around again. 

“Would you two stop,” Steve laughed as he parked the car. They were underneath an underpass, there was a black car waiting for them “Wait here.”

Steve got out of the car and Sharon stepped out of the black car, popping the trunk to reveal Steve’s shield, her suit, and Sam’s wings.

“Who’s that?” Bucky asked Neeva.

“Sharon Carter,” she told him.

“Like Peggy?” He asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, Steve has had a thing for her for awhile,” Neeva explained.

“Did I try to kill her during…”

“Yup,” Sam told him and Bucky sighed. They were silent as they watched the two of them interact until Bucky asked if Sam could move his seat up, to which he replied no. She looked over at Bucky, his legs looked like they were being crushed. There was room for him to scoot over, to sit next to her in the middle. She glanced at the empty space between them and then back at him. He raised a brow as if he was asking if it was okay. She nodded and he moved over beside her. She tried not to think about the fact that his entire left half was touching her. His metal arm was cold against her flesh, but it was comfortable to her. 

The three of them smirked as Steve finally kissed Sharon, something long overdue. They separated and Steve turned around, glaring at the three of them before grabbing their things. 

“Don’t,” he said as he got back into the driver’s seat. He looked in the rear view mirror, noticing Bucky next to Neeva. He raised a brow and she looked away, her cheeks a light shade of pink. 

Sam and Steve continued to talk through the plan as they drove to the airport. Neeva continued to try and not think about Bucky being so close to her. She kept catching Steve looking back at her in the mirror, she met him with a glare everytime. 

“How long have you known Steve?” Bucky asked her quietly. 

“I was fifteen when they pulled his body out of the ocean,” she told him. “I’d go and visit him every single day after they found him. One day, he finally woke up and I continued to visit him, telling him about what he had missed. I helped teach him about this world and he helped me with my history homework,” she laughed. “He’s been there for me ever since he woke up, he’s my best friend, my brother. He stands between me and S.H.I.E.L.D., he makes sure they don’t try to take advantage of me again. We actually have a place together in D.C. Or we did, at least,” she sighed when she realized they probably wouldn’t be able to go back. 

“He really made a life for himself,” Bucky said and she nodded.

“He did, but he’s always stayed true to what he believes in, even when others might see it as wrong.”

“Did he ever…” his voice faded out.

“Talk about you?” she asked and he nodded. “All the time,” she smiled at him. “He’s told me countless stories about you and we would visit the Smithsonian every Saturday when we were in D.C.”

“Hopefully all good stories,” Bucky said and she smirked. “Can I ask about you and S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“You can ask anything,” she told him and he nodded. “I came into my powers when I was three, they were incredibly unstable and unpredictable. My family wanted to get rid of me, begging anyone to take me. S.H.I.E.L.D. had her rumors about someone with powers and they came to my village when I was six -- my parents forced them to take me. They trained me from day one, teaching me how to control my powers and how to push them until I’d break. I learned hand-to-hand combat, how to lie and manipulate. I was their living weapon by ten, I was aggressive and emotionless, rarely speaking to anyone. They told me I was perfect, that I would do such great things.”

“What changed?” he asked.

“Tony,” she told him. “He saw me one day, he couldn’t believe that S.H.I.E.L.D. had took this child and turned her into this machine. He tried talking to me and was appalled that I didn’t enjoy any hobbies or activities. So, every day he came and he taught me something new. He taught me how to paint, play instruments, dance, photography, coding… Then one day he asked if he could adopt me. He gave me the life I didn’t know I could have, that I didn’t know could exist. If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be S.H.I.E.L.D.’s living weapon.

“Wow,” Bucky said. “I understand what that’s like, I’m sorry you had to go through that... I’m glad Steve’s been there for you,” he smiled at her.

“Me too,” she told him. Steve parked the car and Neeva realized they were already in the parking garage of the airport. A white van was already there waiting for them. Steve got out the car and greeted Clint and Wanda. Clint opened the van to reveal the newest recruit and Neeva couldn’t help but to laugh as he fangirled over Steve.

“Neeva,” Clint smiled at her and she ran over to hug him.

“Disappointing your kids again?” she asked, making him laugh.

“Always,” he told her.

“Glad to have you fighting next to us,” she whispered and he nodded.

“We should get moving,” you heard Bucky say.

“I have a chopper lined up,” Clint said before alarms started to go off. 

“They’re evacuating the airport,” Bucky said.

“Stark,” Sam said, causing Neeva to groan.

“Suit up,” Steve told everyone. She grabbed her suit from the back of the trunk and joined Wanda behind the white van as they suited up.

“Glad to see you here with us,” Neeva smiled at her.

“Glad to be here,” she smiled back. “Do you realize you’re about to go up against your father?”

“I’ve been going up against him a lot the past couple of days,” Neeva sighed. “I’m sorry he tried to lock you in the compound. I’m sure if he had his way, I would have been there too.”

She finished putting on her suit, it was all black and similar to Natasha’s, but had a little more padding and coverage to it. Neeva typically wore a mask that hid who she was, but today she decided not to wear it. She wanted Tony to see her fighting against him.

“No mask?” Steve asked her when she emerged from behind the van and she shook her head no. She went with Clint and Wanda to the parking deck as Sam and Bucky searched for the hanger. They waited in the deck as Steve distracted Tony, waiting for their cue.

“He seriously went and got the 16 year old from Brooklyn?” Neeva scoffed as she saw the Peter boy flip into the opening, binding Steve’s hands and stealing his shield. “Tony’s been watching him for months.”

“What’s he do?” Clint asked.

“He has spider-like powers, he can shoot webs or something,” she told them and Clint rolled his eyes.

“We found it,” Sam finally said and Neeva watched Steve raise his hands. Clint aimed and took his shot, breaking the web around Steve’s hands with ease. She watched as Scott grew to full size, knocking over Peter and stealing the shield back.

“Go,” Clint said to her and Wanda. They took off running, but Neeva jumped from the parking deck, flying to the ground below. She went after Rhodey, using her powers to grab wrap him in wind before throwing him to the ground.

“Neeva, you don’t want to do this,” he warned her.

“Don’t tell me what I want to do,” she growled. She tightened the air around him, constricting him in his suit before throwing him in the opposite direction of Sam and Bucky. She flew towards the building they were in when suddenly Peter came flying out of a window, being carried by Redwing. She laughed as she landed, finding Bucky and Sam webbed to the ground.

“You guys stuck?” she asked, making herself laugh.

“Now is not the time, Neeva,” Sam yelled. 

“I think I’m hilarious,” she laughed while freezing the web binding them, causing it to shatter. Sam and Bucky took off running towards the hanger, Neeva flew above them. They joined Steve, Scott Clint and Wanda, all of them trying to get to the quinjet when Vision stopped them. 

“Captain Rogers,” Vision said. “I know you believe what you’re doing is right, but for the collective good you must surrender now,” he told them. The other team assembled in front of them; Vision, Natasha, Rhodey, T’Challa, Peter, and Tony. 

“What do we do, Cap?” Sam asked.

“We fight,” Steve told them. They began walking towards the other team before breaking out into a run. Tony went straight for Steve and Neeva went straight for Tony. She began to constrict the air around him and focused on dropping the internal temperature of his suit.

“Neeva,” Tony yelled. “Neeva, don’t do this.”

“Scared?” she asked him. He looked at her to see her eyes glowing a bright blue, something that only ever happened when she was truly angry. The last time her eyes shone blue was during her last training session with S.H.I.E.L.D., right before he adopted her. As the temperature of his suit dropped, she began to expand the water particles inside of it, causing ice to form within it.

“Neeva! Do not do this to your own father,” he begged. She couldn’t see the tears stream down his face behind his helmet, she couldn’t see his heart break. 

“My father wouldn’t have signed the Accords,” she told him. “My father would have been on my side.”

“Don’t make me do this,” he continued to beg. His suit began to frost and before it started to malfunction, he had to look away as he shot his repulsor at her. She flew upwards just in time, missing it. She saw Peter swinging from his webs and froze his web, causing him to fall. She landed in front of Tony again.

“You’re not even trying,” she hissed as she circled him.

“I won’t hurt you,” he told her.

“I can’t say the same,” she hit him as hard as she could with a blast of wind, sending him flying.

“Get to the jet, both of you,” Neeva heard Sam say over the comms. “The rest of us aren’t getting out of here.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, if we’re going to win this one, some of us might have to lose it,” Clint said.

“This isn’t the real fight, Steve,” Sam said. 

“Alright, Sam, what’s the plan?” Steve asked.

“We need a diversion, something big.”

“I’ve got something kind of big, but I can’t hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell and if I tear myself in half, don’t come back for me,” Scott told them. 

“You sure about this Scott?” Steve asked.

“I do it all the time. I mean once, in a lab, and I passed out,” Scott said. Before anyone could question him, Scott was ten stories tall and grabbing Rhodey from the sky. 

“Way to go Tic-Tac!” Sam yelled. Neeva could see Steve and Bucky running below her and held off whoever she could to help them. She watched as Vision destroyed a tower in front of the quinjet and she helped Wanda to keep it from crashing on them, until Rhodey attacked them with his sonic waves. Neeva didn’t breathe until she saw the quinjet flying away.

“Neeva,” Steve said over the comms.

“I’ll be okay,” she promised him. “Do whatever you can to stop the doctor.”

“You need to run, before they lock you up, I’ll come find you.”

“It’s too late to run” she told him before his comms cut off. 

“Neeva, you can still get away,” Sam said over the comms.

“We’re a team,” she told him. “I’m not abandoning any of you.” She peeled herself off of the concrete and flew upwards, assessing the damage. She saw Peter laying on the ground and landed beside him, causing him to jump.

“You okay, kid?” she asked him.

“Aren’t you Mr. Stark’s daughter?” he asked her, raising his mask.

“Yeah, I am,” she sighed.

“Why are you fighting against him?”

“Because he helped to create an act that will track all beings with special powers and abilities, of which I am,” she said as she created a shard of ice with her hand. “And that includes you.”

“He left that part out of things,” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry he drug you into this,” she said.

“Are you kidding? This was the best day of my life,” he exclaimed.

“You’re lucky, kid. You didn’t lose anything,” she told him. “I lost my whole family today.”   
She held out her hand, helping him get up. 

“Do you need ice?” she asked him as he held on to his side. He nodded and she formed a block of ice in her hand.

“That’s pretty handy,” he told her.

“Sometimes,” she smiled at him. Sirens started to get closer and helicopters began to gather overhead. “Hey kid?”

“Yeah?”

“Just so you know, we’re not bad guys. We just wanted to go and stop some,” she told him before walking away. She saw her dad holding Rhodey’s lifeless form near the runway and she flew over to him.

“What happened?” she asked as she landed.

“Vision missed, he killed his suit and he fell…” he explained. She put her hands on him, cooling his body. If there was any bleeding, it would slow it down. “Why even bother helping at this point?” Tony asked her. 

“Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m a monster. People are allowed to have opinions different from yours and that doesn’t make them wrong or bad. If you don’t want me to slow any internal bleeding, I can leave,” she began to remove her hands from him.

“No -- please,” he said quietly. She nodded, keeping her hands there until help got there.

 

“What’s gonna happen to your friends?” Bucky asked Steve.

“Whatever it is… I’ll deal with it,” Steve sighed.

“I don’t know if I’m worth all of this, Steve,” he told him.

“What you did all those years… it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice.”

“I know. But I did it,” Bucky said. “Do you think Neeva will run?” he asked Steve.

“No, she won’t abandon the team,” Steve sighed again. “She’s stubborn.”

“She means a lot to you.”

“She’s the most important person in my life,” Steve told her.

“You’re both pretty affectionate, there’s nothing… romantic?” Bucky asked and Steve scoffed.

“Buck, no. I’m just protective of her and I do love her, she’s family. She’s a little sister to me, always has been and always will be. ” he explained. Bucky nodded, looking down at his hands. “Buck?” Steve asked.

“I wasn’t asleep,” he told him and the color drained from Steve’s face. “How did that happen?”

“I guess I’m a great storyteller,” Steve tried to laugh. “The worst part is, she doesn’t even know.” Bucky looked at him confused and Steve put the plane on autopilot, turning around to face him. “For a majority of her life, Neeva didn’t really experience emotions or feelings. She was left secluded and alone for six years in her village and S.H.I.E.L.D. trained whatever ones she had out of her. So when she started to develop feelings for you, she didn’t even realize it. She didn’t know until I told her because she had never felt anything like it before, she still doesn’t believe me… She would kill me for telling you this.”

“She doesn’t need to know,” Bucky told him. “She’s pretty powerful.”

“She’s incredible,” Steve shook his head. “She’s stronger than she seems.”

“She holds back,” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“She doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”

“She was telling me what she could do, how she could control someone if she needed.”

“I’ve never seen her do it,” Steve told him. “I should have never drug her into this.”

“I don’t think that was up to you, she’s pretty stubborn,” he smirked. Steve looked at him and raised his brow.

“Oh don’t tell me --” Steve started.

“You should probably fly the plane,” Bucky told him. Steve shook his head, smiling as he turned around.


	5. Chapter 5

“Neeva,” Tony said as he entered her cell, he immediately noticed it was thirty degrees colder than the others. Her cell was different from everyone elses, it was completely metal. There was a dehydrator running, sucking the moisture out of the air. She couldn’t see or interact with anyone because they were afraid they'd create something out of nothing or control them. She was in a straight jacket, her mouth was also bound shut -- they were afraid she’d use her own spit as a weapon. She had a power dampening collar on, but it didn’t work - S.H.I.E.L.D. taught her how to use her powers even with them on. They hadn't fed her yet, they would only risk taking off the bind over her mouth when she was too weak to fight. 

“Neeva, this wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to end up here,” Tony said to her as she glared at him. “You were right, I got the report and you were right. He didn’t do it. You knew this whole time and I refused to believe you, refused to believe I was wrong.” She turned away from him, not wanting to hear what he had to say. 

He backed out of her cell and she dropped the temperature of her room until it was well below freezing. Before long, she became drowsy from the cold and fell asleep. 

She wasn’t sure how long she was in there for, days or weeks. She didn’t try to keep track, knowing it would only drive her crazy. She spent most of her time sleeping, it was the best way for her to cope. Her mind kept taking her to a dark place, a place where Steve and Bucky were dead. Her mind kept telling her that they were dead and she'd be stuck in this cell forever. She had to have faith though, had to have faith that one day Steve would be there to save her from this nightmare.

Then one day her door opened and it wasn’t a guard, it was Steve. His heart dropped to the floor when he saw her, her arms strapped to her from the straight jacket, the power dampening collar, the bind over her mouth. He ran to her, scooping her up in his arms, apologizing profusely as he held her tight to him.

Tears spilled from her eyes and she couldn't help but to wonder if this was a dream, if her mind was playing tricks on her. But then she saw the others behind him, already released and wearing their own clothes. Wanda rushed over to help Steve with her collar and binds. 

“They haven't fed her,” Sam told Steve. “They were too afraid of her.” She was too weak to help them get her out of the prison suit. The others backed away as Steve and Wanda changed her into sweat pants and one of Steve's shirts. When she was dressed, Steve carried her from her cell and she curled into him, worrying this was just a dream. Neeva looked around at the unconscious guards and the realization that she was not only a criminal, but an escaped criminal hit her. She closed her eyes, not opening them again until Steve was setting her down in the jet. 

“I grabbed these on the way out,” Sam said as he handed Steve some granola bars, oranges, and a bottle of water. Neeva reached for the water, her hand shaking the whole time. Steve opened it for her and raised it to her mouth. She drank it slowly, savoring every drop of it. Steve began to peel the orange for her and she looked around the plane. Natasha was in the pit of the jet, but she was the only other person that wasn't in the jail with her. Neeva looked to Steve, her eyes filling with tears. 

“He's okay,” he assured her as he wiped her tears away. “He didn't feel safe, knowing everything Hydra did to him was still in there. He didn't want to put us in danger, so he had T’Challa put him in a cryostasis chamber until they could figure out how to help him.” Neeva’s lip quivered and tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Steve pulled her into his arms, he was afraid something like this would happen when Neeva knew he was alive. He was afraid she'd end up getting hurt. “You need to eat,” he whispered and she pulled away, nodding. She ate the slices slowly as Steve handed them to her, she started to feel better with every piece.

“He wanted me to tell you,” Steve started, unsure of whether or not he should tell her but he sighed, knowing she deserved to know. “He wanted me to tell you he looked forward to getting to know you more when he was better.” Neeva processed the information, unsure of what to do with it. “Here,” Steve handed her an old flip phone. “T’Challa will call when he's awake again. It might be months, it might be years.” Neeva nodded as she took the phone in her hand, wishing it'd start to ring. Steve handed her another orange slice and she continued to eat, thinking over everything he just told her. 

“I could really go for a pizza,” she finally said, making Steve laugh. 

“There's my Neevie,” he smiled at her. “Are you alright?” He asked her softly and she shook her head no. “I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, you can talk to me when you're ready,” he assured her and she nodded. He stayed there with her and she leaned into him, finally feeling safe again.

“What now?” she asked him and he sighed.

“We lay low,” he told her. “We go into hiding.” 

“How did this get so messed up,” she sighed.

“I’m sorry that you got dragged into this,” he whispered.

“You need to stop apologizing, it’s not your fault,” she assured him. “I wouldn’t have done it differently.” Steve pulled her into a hug, squeezing her tight to him. He was so relieved to have her back, he wished he never would have left her at the airport. He should have brought her with him. 

“What color?” Natasha asked, startling them both. Neeva looked at her to see her holding multiple boxes of hair color and she sighed.

“Maybe not now, Natasha,” Steve said.

“It’s okay,” Neeva told him. She looked at the boxes of color: black, brown and an auburn. “Steve?” she asked him and he sighed.

“Black would be too dark,” he told her and she nodded.

“Let’s go with auburn,” she finally said.

“That’ll look best with your pale skin,” Natasha agreed. Neeva peeled herself away from Steve and Natasha led her to a stool and had her sit while she mixed together several boxes of color to cover Neeva’s thick, long hair. 

“Ever color your hair before?” Natasha asked her as she began to paint her hair.

“Just temporary colors,” she told her. “Pale pinks, purples and blue.”

“We’ll have to color your brows too,” Natasha said and Neeva sighed. “I have some dye that’s safe for the face.”

“You’ve done this before?” Neeva asked her, making Natasha laugh. 

“Too many times,” she said. “I heard about where they put you.”

“Yeah,” Neeva said softly.

“They should have never treated you like that, Neeva. I’m surprised your father didn’t do anything when he saw you like that.”

“I told him I didn’t want special treatment when this all started,” she explained.

“But they weren’t even treating you like a person.”

“They know what I’m capable of, what S.H.I.E.L.D. trained me to do. They know how much of a threat I am,” she shrugged.

“But they know you would never do anything like that,” Natasha sighed.

“They probably never thought I’d go against the law either.” Natasha was silent the rest of the time she painted Neeva’s hair. When she was done, she gently combed dye through her eyebrows, careful not to get too much on her skin. 

“Fifteen minutes for the brows, another thirty for your hair,” Natasha told her and she nodded. “We have a large collection of clothes and makeup that the three of us will share,” she said, referencing Wanda. “Try to stick with outfits and makeup that are completely opposite of what you would usually wear.” Neeva nodded again, not sure of what else to say. “Are you overwhelmed?”

“Yeah,” Neeva breathed out. “S.H.I.E.L.D. taught me how to go undercover when I was younger, I just never thought I’d need to use it.” 

“I wish you didn’t have to,” Natasha told her as she looked a Neeva with pity in her eyes.

“Why does everyone feel sorry for me?” Neeva asked. “Why is everyone pitying me? You guys are all going through this too. Poor Wanda is going through this too and she’s the youngest of us all.”

“You’re the only one who had to fight her own father,” Natasha told her. “You had the most to lose, Neeva -- and you lost everything.”

“I’m well aware,” Neeva told her. “But Wanda lost Vision, Scott and Clint lost their families, Steve lost Bucky. We all lost our freedom. I didn’t sacrifice everything just to be pitied.”

“Enough,” Steve interrupted. Neeva looked around, everyone was staring at her. Natasha returned to the cockpit, everyone else looked away. Neeva retreated to the bathroom, wanting some form of privacy. She shut the door, locking it behind her. Her breathing quickened and her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She was hunched over the sink, hands clenching on to it desperately as she started to hyperventilate. Hot tears streamed down her face, panic coursed through her body.

Everything has fallen apart, there was no way to undo the damage. She would be forever seen as a criminal, would forever be on the run. She had no home now, she had no freedom. The world now feared her, saw her as a villain. She turned the water to the sink on, trying to drown out the sound of her sobs. Steve tapped on the door, begging for her to let him in.

“Please, just leave me alone,” she said between gasps. 

“You know I’m not going to do that,” he jiggled the handle of the bathroom. “I will break this door down,” he warned. Neeva unlocked the door and Steve came in, shutting it again behind him. “You can’t shut me out, especially when you’re on the brink of a panic attack.”

“I don’t want you pity me or think I’m weak,” she said between sobs.

“I would never,” he told her. “You are the strongest person I know.” 

“This sucks,” she cried and he couldn’t help but to chuckle.

“I know, doll, I know. But we’ll get through this, together,” he assured her. Her watch started to beep, signalling it was time to remove the dye from her brows. Steve grabbed a few paper towels and dampened them before wiping the dye away.

“Thanks,” she whispered. 

“You’re welcome,” he whispered when he was done.

“Do you think T’Challa can really help Bucky?” Neeva asked, chewing on her lip nervously.

“I don’t know, Neev,” he sighed. “They have the most advanced technology in the world, if anyone could, it would be them… but I don’t want you to wait for him. It could be an entire lifetime before they are able to undo the damage that HYDRA did.”

“Hey, Steve,” she bit her lip nervously.

“Yeah, Neev?”

“I think you might have been right,” she whispered and Steve smiled, but it was sad.

“I know,” he whispered. “Part of me wishes I wasn’t… I didn’t want to tell you this, because I don’t want to encourage you waiting for him, but I think in the brief moment you knew him, you really caught his eye.”

“I’m glad you told me,” she smiled sadly. “No more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” he whispered. “If you didn’t have this stuff in your hair, I’d hug you,” he laughed, causing her to smile. He stayed in there with her until her second alarm went off and left her alone to wash her hair. She looked in the mirror when she was done, not recognizing herself.

She felt like an idiot, being upset over coloring her hair. After all, she had wished that she didn’t look as Finnish as she did. But she felt like she was losing another piece of herself, of her life. She refused to let herself cry, knowing Steve would notice if her eyes were any puffier. 

Taking a deep breath, she exited the bathroom. Everyone told her how great her hair looked red and she faked her best smile before retreating to the corner of the jet. She curled up in the corner, wanting to be left alone for a little while. She thought of Bucky, of how he was in a frozen state, suspended in time. 

Steve’s words played on a loop in her head -- he looked forward to getting to know her more, he thought she caught Bucky’s eye. She wanted to get to know him, too. She wanted to hear his side of all the stories Steve had told her, wanted to see him smile. Her breath was shaky, she tried to push away all thoughts of Bucky, but she couldn’t. Her thoughts turned to dreams as she quickly fell asleep. 

“That’s weird,” Steve muttered to himself as he began to pick up Neeva as she slept.

“What?” Sam asked him.

“She’s freezing,” he looked at her confused.

“She always has cold hands,” Sam shrugged it off.

“Does, does she look blue?” Steve looked down at Neeva’s face, hoping his eyes deceived him. Sam walked over to Steve and looked at Neeva in his arms, moving her hair out of her face but quickly yanked his hand back.

“She’s never been that cold,” he looked at Steve concerned. “And yes, she is definitely blue.” Sam dug through the cargo bins, searching for blankets. When he finally found them, he made a makeshift bed for Steve to lay Neeva back down on.

“Neeva,” Steve tried to wake her. “Neeva, wake up,” he repeated, shaking her as he did so. 

“Do you think it’s because she hasn’t had enough to eat?” Sam asked confused.

“Natasha,” Steve called out. “Natasha we need an IV,” his voice was panicked as he kept trying to get Neeva to wake up. Clint took over flying the jet as Natasha ran to get the medical kit. 

“Neevie, Neevie please,” Steve begged her to wake up. “I can’t lose you too.” Natasha began to set up the IV, Sam took out the thermometer and began monitoring it.

“Her temperature is steadily decreasing,” Sam alerted them. “I don’t understand.”

“Wanda,” Steve called for her, not realizing she was already next to him. “Can you look into her mind, see what’s going on in there?” She put her hand on her forehead, a chill ran through her body the second she touched her.

“I don’t understand,” she muttered as she tried to focus on Neeva’s mind. “All of her thoughts have been stopped, completely frozen in time.” She could see Neeva’s last thought before she went into this comatose state. She stood up and tried to pull Steve away from her, but he wouldn’t let go of Neeva's hand.

“We need to talk,” she said, her accent thick. He looked at her, standing when she realized how serious she was. He followed her to the other side of the, just out of ears reach from the others.

“What is it?” he asked her, still looking over at Neeva’s lifeless form.

“When I touched her, all I could feel was darkness -- fear, loss, heartbreak, sorrow, sadness. There was no hope, no light - it felt like death.”

“She’d given up,” he said beneath his breath. His mind raced through several different emotions before he became angry, punching the wall next to him. Everyone jumped and stared at him, concern in their eyes. If there was ever a time for Steve to curse, it’d be now.

He apologized before ducking into the bathroom, collapsing against the door behind him. He slid to the ground, tears streaming down his cheeks. His heart breaking as his mind replayed what Wanda told him. 

The most important person in his life was laying in the next room in a frozen, comatose state and there was nothing that he could do. There was no way for him to talk to Neeva, for him to convince her that it’d be okay. But how could he convince her it’d be okay if he didn’t believe it himself? He’d lost everything that meant something to him -- he couldn’t see any hope either right now. But he knew that he couldn’t give up, he knew how many people counted on him -- but the one person he counted on was frozen with grief.

Steve couldn’t help but to wonder if Neeva did this on purpose or if her emotions caused her to lose control over her powers. Tony warned him before that she would lose control when she was angry, telling him about how her eyes would turn blue and she became mean. He thought back on the time he and Neeva had spent together since he woke up from the ice. In the time he’s known her, he had never witnessed her feel true sadness. 

“It’s her emotions,” Steve burst out of the bathroom. “When she’s angry, her powers magnify that anger, make her mean and hateful. She’s never experienced all of these emotions at once: fear, loss, heartbreak, sorrow, sadness. She couldn’t mentally handle it and her powers took advantage of that.”

“So how do we undo it?” Natasha asked.

“I have absolutely no idea,” he shook his head. 

 

Three months went by and Neeva was still frozen in time. Steve tried everything he could think of from hot baths, a blow dryer, and confessing to her how much she meant to him, hoping she would hear him and perhaps begin to thaw. 

After a month, they couldn't drag her frozen form from motel to motel anymore, so Steve took her to Wakanda. T’Challa agreed to take her in without hesitation, agreed to help in any way that he could. His sister, Shuri, was left stumped by Neeva's condition. There was no virus that she could try to cure, no condition that needed remedied, but that didn’t stop her from trying everything that she could think of.

Steve checked his phone often, hoping to see a missed call from T’Challa saying that she woke up or they figured things out. But time kept passing by and he heard nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

“T’Challa? Is she awake?” Steve answered the phone quickly, not giving the king of a Wakanda a chance to even say hello. It had been four months now and Steve was starting to go insane without her. 

“No,” T’Challa told him and Steve’s face fell. “But Shuri as developed something she thinks might work, however we need you here in order for it to work.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible,” he said before hanging up. He texted Natasha and she immediately responded, letting him know she would prepare the quinjet.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Steve,” Sam said as Steve threw all of his things into his duffel bag.

“I’m not,” he lied and Sam raised his brow.

“If it’s really her powers controlling her, I don’t think she even knows she’s comatose. I’m not sure how she’s going to wake up from that.”

“I’m aware of her condition,” Steve snapped at him before exiting the motel room, heading to the woods where the quinjet was hidden. He would apologize to him later, he didn’t usually snap at people, but he didn’t need to be reminded of Neeva’s current state.

Steve practically ran to where he was meeting Natasha and was relieved to already see her waiting there for him.

“Ready, Cap?” she asked and he nodded. He knew there was a chance this wouldn’t work, he knew that he shouldn’t get his hopes up -- but this was Neeva. This was the first time they thought something might work. This was the first time he had hope.

Steve was quiet the entire ride, trying to convince himself to not get his hopes up too high. Natasha didn’t press him, knowing he was lost in his thoughts and knowing that he hasn’t been the most talkative lately.

Knowing he needed to do this alone, Natasha didn’t go with Steve when they arrived in Wakanda. T’Challa and his guards greeted Steve when he arrived and led him to Shuri’s lab. Steve looked behind him just in time to see the quinjet disappear from the protective dome.

“We have two things to show you,” T’Challa told Steve, stopping just outside the lab. Steve looked at him confused while T’Challa smirked as the doors to the lab opened.

“I hear we have a damsel in distress,” a familiar voice said and Steve’s head snapped towards the sound of the voice.

“Buck,” he breathed out, relieved to see his best friend. “When did you wake up?”

“Sergeant Barnes was brought of his cyro-sleep this morning. We were able to flush out the programming HYDRA had done a few weeks ago and he has since been sleeping in peace,” Shuri informed him as Steve took his pal in his arms. Bucky couldn’t help but to smile as he wrapped his flesh arm around him.

“It’s good to see ya, pal,” Steve smiled at him.

“He’ll need to remain here as he recovers so that we can monitor him,” Shuri informed them and Steve nodded.

“They told me about Neeva,” Bucky said and Steve’s smile fell.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Her powers kind of took control of her.”

“We believe we have a solution,” Shuri told him and Steve’s attention turned to her. “I have developed a way to stimulate her subconscious, allowing it to ‘thaw’ from its frozen state. However, because there is a chance she’s not even aware that she is in her comatose state, someone will need to enter her subconscious and convince her to take control again.”

“How the hell is that even possible?” Bucky asked what Steve was thinking.

“I have developed a machine for that as well,” she smirked. “That is why Steve is here,” she looked to him.

“Amazing,” Steve said under his breath.

“Are there any risks?” Bucky asked, knowing Steve was too invested in waking up Neeva to think about risks.

“If Neeva does not wake up, Steve will be trapped in her subconscious -- there’s no way to safely pull him out,” she told them.

“Okay,” Steve said, ready to do whatever it takes to wake Neeva up.

“Steve,” Bucky stopped him. “Steve you could end up comatose, just like her.”

“I can wake her,” he assured him.

“You don’t know that, we don’t know why she’s really even asleep. And if it is her powers controlling her, what if she can’t gain control back? What if she can’t wake up even if she wants to?”

“It’s a risk that I am willing to take,” Steve told him.

“The world needs you, Steve, it can’t risk losing you,” Bucky said. “Let me do it.”

“Buck, no --”

“I have nothing to lose, Steve,” he begged. “Please… I know what it’s like to drown in your own grief. I know what it’s like to feel like things are broken beyond repair -- I can do this. She gave up everything to help me, Steve...”

“It has to be me, Buck, it has to be,” Steve told him. Bucky knew this, he knew how close the two of them were but he wanted nothing more than to be the one to help Neeva. He understood why Steve had to be the one to do it, so he nodded, even though he wanted it to be him.

Shuri directed Steve to a medical bed set up next to Neeva’s. He couldn’t look away from her frozen form as Shuri hooked him up to different monitors and different chords. Neeva already had a thin metal device that spanned across her forehead and Shuri put the same device on him.

“I’ll awaken Neeva’s subconscious and then turn on your machine. Once on, you will immediately fall asleep,” she informed him and he nodded. Bucky stood next to him as Shuri began to start the machine.

“Will you let her know they fixed me?” Bucky asked Steve and before he could reply, he was asleep.

_Steve looked around, confused. He was at the airport in Berlin again, but this time it was dark and snowing -- hard._

_“Neeva?” he called out, unable to see through the snow. He ran through the parking lot full of planes, calling her name as he searched for her. He ducked into one of the terminals, wanting to avoid the snow._

_“Neeva?” he called again as he searched. “Neeva, please,” he begged._

_“Steve?” he heard from behind him and he turned around. Neeva stood there, a confused look on her face. He rushed to her, taking her into his arms and holding her as tight as possible._

_“Thank god,” he breathed out._  

_“Steve? What’s going on?” she asked confused as he pressed her tightly to his chest. “Why are you squishing me?”_  

_“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, trying not to cry and she tried to pull away from him._  

_“What are you talking about?” He pulled away from her, seeing the confusion in her face._  

_“Neev, you’ve been asleep for four months,” he told her and her eyes doubled in size._

_“What? No, I just shut my eyes to take a nap,” she shook her head, not understanding. “This is a dream.”_  

_“Technically,” Steve said. “We’re in Wakanda, Shuri has been trying to figure out how to wake you up for months.” Neeva pulled away from him, sitting down on a nearby bench._  

_“Are you really here, or am I dreaming you?” she asked him._

_“I’m really here, we’re both hooked up to a machine right now and it basically transferred my subconscious into yours.”_

_“And I’ve been asleep for four months? I don’t think I experienced any head trauma during the battle, and if I did, wouldn’t this have happened while I was in the cell?”_  

_“It’s not from a head injury,” he sighed. “Do you know how when you get angry, your powers kind of take control?” She nodded, still confused. “We think that because you were so upset, your powers kind of took over. You slipped into a frozen state, causing your body to go into a cyro-sleep. Wanda said it even froze your thoughts.”_

_“My powers did this?”_

_“That’s our theory,” he nodded and she sighed. “We think your mind was struggling to comprehend all of the different emotions you were feeling and those emotions heightened your powers. Then they just kind of took over.”_

_“Great,” she sighed. “I’m supposed to be one of the best trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and I lost control over my powers because I was a little sad._

_“Neevie,” Steve said softly. “They didn’t train you on how to cope with emotions or feelings, they just trained you to fight. No one could have known that this would happen, you had never faced so many strong emotions at once. It’s okay,” he took her into his arms._

_“Four months?” she said after a long pause and he nodded. “How have you been? I see you have a beard now. And brown hair?”_

_“Yes, the brown hair and beard make me a little less obvious,” he laughed. “But I’ve missed you Neev, I’ve been going insane without you.”_  

_“I’m sorry,” she told him and he pulled her close._

_“It’s okay, you just need to wake up now,” he told her._  

_“But how?” she asked, but he had no answer._

_“I have no idea,” he sighed._

_“Well, you don’t have to stay as I try to figure this out,” she told him. He looked away from her and she knew there was something he wasn’t telling her. “Steve? What is it?”_

_“I can’t leave unless you wake up.”_

_“What? Why?” her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion._

_“There’s no safe way to pull me out of your subconscious,” he told her and her eyes widened._

_“Why would you risk it? What if I can’t regain control?”_

_“Then at least we will be together,” he smiled sadly at her and her heartbroke._

_“Steve... “_

_“It had to be me, Neev, you know that. I had to be the one who saved you, it’s my fault this happened.”_

_“No it’s not,” she shook her head._

_“I hid the fact that Bucky was alive from you, I drug you into that Accords meeting, you came with me to find Bucky, you fought against Tony by my side… you got thrown in that prison because I didn’t take you with us…”_

_“It was for the best that you hid the fact that Bucky was alive from me, you know I would have became obsessed. And I had every right to be in that Accords meeting, it was ridiculous that I wasn’t invited in the first place. I came to find Bucky because he was innocent and it’s our job to help the innocent. I fought Tony because he was in the wrong, because we needed to stop the death squad. And I did all of this by choice, I stood up for what I believed in. I didn’t have a lot of choice in what I did as a child, but now I do and I take advantage of that right every single day. And I will be damned if my own powers are going to take that choice away from me.”_

“Her temperature is starting to raise,” Shuri said as a Bucky paced back and forth through her lab. He rushed over to Neeva and watched the numbers on the screen slowly increase.

“Come on, Neeva,” he whispered as he took her hand in his. She was skinnier than the last time he saw her.

“Why didn’t her body preserve her muscle mass?” he asked Shuri.

“I have a theory that because her body has fluctuated in temperature over the last few months, she was not in a consistent enough cyro-sleep for her body to preserve itself. Hers wasn’t controlled like yours, making her more susceptible to complications and issues,” she told him. “Her body temperature was never as low as the chamber you were in and we were afraid that if we put her in a chamber, there would be more complications.”

He nodded as he looked over her, her bale blue skin contrasted sharply against her mostly red hair. He held her hand tightly in his, urging her to wake up.

_“The snow is slowing,” Steve smiled as he looked out the window._

_“What all have I missed in the last four months?” she asked Steve._

_“Not much,” he shrugged. “We’ve been moving a lot from motel to motel, spending lots of nights on the quinjet. We’re just trying to lay low. Scott and Clint bargained a deal where they are both under house arrest, that way they can be with their families.”_

_“As long as they’re not in that prison,” she shuddered at the thought. “Have you heard from Tony?”_

_“I have not, but I watch the news. He sold the Avengers tower, they moved into the compound in upstate New York.”_

_“Sam, Wanda and Natasha?”_

_“Sam is Sam, still sarcastic, and Natasha is good,” he told her. He was waiting for him to ask about who she was really curious about. “Wanda keeps sneaking off to meet Vision, they’ve definitely made up since the battle.”_

_“And…” she started but her voice trailed off._

_“Bucky?” he smirked and she nodded, her cheeks a light shade of pink. “He actually woke up this morning.”_

_“What?” she gasped._

_“They were able to undo what HYDRA did to him,” Steve smiled as he watched Neeva react to the news. “Before I went under, he asked me to tell you that they fixed him.”_

_“He wasn’t broken,” she said quietly._  

_“He wanted to be the one to come in here,” he told her and he watched her eyes double in size._

_“At first he played it off as not wanting me to risk being trapped, but he begged me to let him be the one that helped you,.” Steve couldn’t help but to smile as he told her this. He thought maybe Bucky and Neeva would finally get to know each other. “He’s there waiting next to you now, just waiting for you to wake up,” he tried to fill her with emotions other than sadness, hoping she would wake up._

_“I probably look like a mess,” she groaned and Steve couldn’t help but to laugh. He glanced out the window, the snow was stopping._

_“Your roots are looking a little crazy,” he teased her. “You should probably wake up and explain what that’s about.”_

_“Hey Steve,” she said, chewing her lip nervously. “What happens after I wake up? We keep running, we keep hiding? Surely Bucky won’t be able to come with us, people are more likely to recognize him now.” Steve looked out the window again, seeing the snow starting again._

  _“I don’t think you’ll be leaving Wakanda, not for awhile,” he told her. “Your DIY cyro-sleep didn’t preserve any of your weight or muscle mass, so you’ll need to retrain and recover. As for Bucky, he will be staying in Wakanda, he still has a bit of a recovery journey as well.”_

_“And you? What’s going to happen to you?”_

_“I’ll be rejoining Sam and Wanda,” he told her._

_“Why can’t you stay here?” she asked quietly._

_“I’ve already asked so much from T’Challa, I can’t ask him to hide six wanted criminals in his country.”_

_“What will I do without you?”_

_“Well you’ll call me every single day,” he told her. “And when you’re better, you’ll rejoin us.”_

_“I’ll miss you,” she told him._

_“Don’t get me wrong, I’m staying until T’Challa kicks me out,” Steve laughed._

_“Like he would do that,” she laughed. “If I refuse to wake up, you can’t leave,” she laughed and he shook his head._

_“You know you can’t do that,” he said softly._

_“I know,” she whispered. He pulled her into a hug and --_

“Neeva,” Steve heard someone say, sounding relieved. Shuri began to remove the wires attached to Steve and he turned his head, Neeva opening her eyes. Bucky stood beside her and Steve noticed he was holding her hand, smiling down at her.

“Hi,” she said, her voice quiet and hoarse. When Steve was no longer strapped to machines, he sat up, relieved to see the color returning to Neeva’s skin. Steve let out a sigh of relief that he had been holding in for four months.

“Steve,” she smiled at him and he crouched down by her bed. “Thank you.”

“Always,” he smiled at her.

 “Welcome to Wakanda, Neeva,” T’Challa smiled at her.

“Thank you for helping me,” she said in a whisper.

“Of course,” he smiled. “And I do apologize for our previous meetings. You are a strong warrior.”

“Thank you,” she smiled at him. “And it’s okay, really.”

“One of our healers is on there way to come look you over,” Shuri informed her as she handed her a glass of water. She drank the water quickly and then filled the glass up again on her own. 

“Well that’s a neat trick,” Shuri laughed and Neeva blushed.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked her. 

“Hungry,” she laughed. “I had that little bit of orange after the prison starved me-”

 “They starved you?” Bucky interrupted her, suddenly very angry.

 “They bound my mouth shut and were too afraid to feed me, they thought I’d use my spit or any liquids to attack them - which is ridiculous,” she scoffed. Steve looked to Bucky, his gaze stern. Bucky noticed Steve’s gaze and realized he needed to calm down. The healer arrived and asked for everyone but Shuri to step out of the lab.

 “Let’s walk,” Steve said to Bucky and he looked back at the lab.

 “Shouldn’t we stay?” Bucky asked confused.

 “We’ll come back,” Steve told him before walking away. “I’m glad to have you back, Buck.”

 "I’m glad to be back,” he smiled.

 “So,” Steve started, “about Neeva,” he stopped in his tracks, looking at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asked confused.

“This isn’t the 40s anymore, Buck. She’s not some dame you can take out dancing and then invite back to your -”

“Steve,” Bucky stopped him. “That’s not going to happen.”

“What is going to happen?” Steve crossed his arms, his gaze hard. 

“Steve, I barely know her,” he played it off.

“I can tell you want to and you’re about to get to know her, because I have to leave soon,” Steve informed him. “I have to rejoin my team and I’m going to have to leave her here and it’s just going to be the two of you. Bucky, I could tell that you were interested in her before your cyro-sleep and you’ve become so protective of her so quickly-”

“You don’t need to go all big-brother, protector on me, Steve,” Bucky told him. “I would never hurt her.”

“And if you do-”

“Are you going to beat me up?” Bucky raised his brow, smirking.

“No -- I’m going to kick your ass.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Are you comfy?” Steve asked Neeva after he transferred her from the wheelchair to her bed. Her legs were too weak for her to move herself at this point.

“Yes,” she assured Steve, laughing. Bucky stood in the corner of the room, a slight smile on his face as he watched Steve  obsess care for her. 

“I can get you more pillows if you nee-”

“Steve!” she laughed. “I am okay.”

“Alright, I’m going to go and see if I can find you something to eat,” he told her and he left before she could even respond. Neeva glanced over at Bucky and saw that he was watching her. A light shade of pink formed on her cheeks, making him smile even more.

“I heard you just woke up, too,” she said and he nodded before making his way over to the chair next to her bed. 

“Just a few hours before you did,” he told her. She wondered how someone who had been asleep for four months could look so effortlessly  _ good _ . His long black hair messily framed his face, his white tank hugged every inch of his abs and chest, his sweats hung perfectly on his hips. There was a sling wrapped around his shoulder, hiding his amputation. Neeva wondered if he was self conscious about it.

“I also heard that you offered to be the person to risk getting stuck in my subconscious,” she said quietly, looking down at her hands nervously.

“Yeah,” he said softly, cursing Steve in his mind for telling her that. “I wanted to help, I know what it feels like for everything to feel so broken that you want to give up. And you gave up everything to try to save me, I just wanted to help you.”

“Thank you,” she said smiled softly at him, “for wanting to.” 

“Of course,” he smiled. “I hear we’re being moved to a village outside the city once you get some of your strength back.”

“What?” she asked, confused. He watched as she scrunched up her eyebrows and he swore it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Something about discipline and recovering in a peaceful environment,” he shrugged. “They want me to focus on relaxing and keeping my mind clear and they also believe it could help you to get in touch with your emotions or something.”

“They are the most advanced civilization in the world, I trust that they will do what’s best for us.”

“I’m sorry that I got you into this mess,” he sighed.

“You sound like Steve,” she laughed.

“Everything that you were doing, it was to help me,” he shook his head.

“Everything I was doing was my choice. Like I told Steve, I didn’t have a choice in what I did for the first part of my life when I was in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s custody and now I do. Every choice I make, I make it for me. So please, don’t apologize or feel guilty about anything. Neither you or Steve forced me to do anything, I stood up for what I believed was right.”

“How’d you know helping me was the right thing to do?” he asked her softly. 

“I just… knew,” she shrugged. “I’m not sure if it’s because with everything that Steve has told me about you, I knew it was uncharacteristic of you or what… but I just knew that you were framed. Steve told me what HYDRA did to you, how they completely wiped away who you were… But the moment I saw you in your apartment, I knew it was you.”

He stared at her, speechless. Steve has always been the one person who trusted him and believed in him, and now there was Neeva -- and she just met him. What did he do to have someone like her trust him so much? A smile formed on his lips and she looked away shyly, her cheeks a light shade of pink.

“I have dinner,” Steve sang as he burst through the door, causing Neeva to jump. He rolled in a cart full of food, enough for the three of them. “We have some steak, veggies, bread and chocolate for dessert,” he said proudly, happy to be taking care of his friends. He pulled a tray from underneath the cart and set it over Neeva’s lap, allowing her to eat comfortably in bed. Bucky looked around the room and grabbed the extra chair, bringing it over to Neeva’s bed.

“Thank you Steve,” she smiled at him. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I haven’t seen to you in four months -- so yes, I do,” Steve told her as he arranged her dinner on her tray. 

“Well thank you,” she said softly and he nodded. 

“Here, Bucky,” he handed Bucky a plate full of food and Bucky realized just how hungry he really was.

“Good?” Steve asked Neeva as he sat down with his own food. She nodded, her mouth full. “I’m glad to see you feeling better,” he laughed.

“I feel great,” she assured him. 

“Good,” Steve let out sigh. “I’ve been so worried about you, Neev.” 

“I’m sorry,” she looked down at her food. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“The worst part was not knowing why it happened,” he told her head. “I didn’t know if it was an accident or if…”

“If I did it on purpose?” she asked and he nodded, not meeting her gaze. “Steve, I would have never put myself into a comatose state on purpose, I wouldn’t have abandoned you. I have never left you to deal with everything on your own, we’re a team Steve. I’m with you until the end of the line,” she said and Bucky’s heart stopped when he heard those words. The words that brought him back, the words that made him realize who he was. His and Steve’s words, now Steve and Neeva’s words. Eighty years ago, he had no idea how important those words would be. He had no idea that so much meaning would be hiding in them. He smiled as he took another bite of his food.

“I wish I didn’t have to stay here, I wish I could come with you,” Neeva told Steve.

“You’ll be back by my side as soon as you get better,” he assured her. 

Bucky sat there quietly as they interacted. Steve told Neeva stories about what she’s missed over the last four months as she continued to eat her dinner. Bucky couldn’t help but to smile as Steve made her laugh. 

Steve was still that kid from Brooklyn he knew all of those years ago. He was definitely taller, a little harder around the edges, and he had this beard thing going on -- but he was still Steve. Bucky was so grateful that Neeva was there for Steve when he woke up, that he had someone to help him with the transition. 

As he watched her make him laugh in return, he was especially grateful that it was Neeva that was there for him. Steve could be pretty serious at times and Bucky was glad that Neeva was there to make him laugh and remind him to have fun. He watched them both laugh -- both of them throwing their heads back and grabbing their chest.

“Dear lord,” Bucky laughed. “You two have spent too much time together.”

“What?” Steve asked, still laughing.

“She laughs just like you, head back, chest grab and all,” he shook his head.

“We have spent the last seven years together,” Neeva laughed. “We are bound to have picked up some of the same habits.”

“Yeah, like now Steve raises his brow when he’s questioning someone or scrunch them together when he’s confused like you do, Neeva,” Bucky pointed out and she wiggled her brows, making him laugh. 

They spent the rest of the evening together, laughing and telling stories. Steve told Bucky embarrassing stories of Neeva, making her blush deep shades of pink but then Bucky and Neeva started sharing embarrassing stories of Steve and he quickly became a third wheel. They bounced back and forth between stories. Bucky told stories of him getting turned down by girls in the 40s while Neeva told stories of Steve embarrassing himself in the modern world.  

Although he was the punchline of all of their stories, Steve enjoyed watching Bucky and Neeva interacting and getting to know each other. He’d never seen Neeva interact with someone else like this. She tended to be more closed off to the world, only truly being herself around Steve and sometimes Sam. But the way she interacted with Bucky was different -- Steve had never seen her flirt with anyone before. But her laugh was lighter, her smile was shy, she nervously played with her hair and occasionally teased Bucky. Steve didn’t even mind that he was currently invisible.

When her eyes started to get heavy, Steve insisted that she get some rest. She protested, but Steve won that argument when she couldn’t stop yawning. 

Steve pulled her door shut behind him and Bucky as they left her room.

“What, you want to go on another walk?” Bucky asked him when he saw Steve smirking at him.

“Yes, yes I do,” Steve smiled. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Bucky laughed as they began to walk away from Neeva’s room.

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked him, catching Bucky off guard. 

“Good,” he told him, his voice serious now. “A little tired and weak, but good.”

“And mentally?”

“For the first time in a long time, my mind doesn’t feel hazy. My mind is finally clear and it’s just my own thoughts, nothing else.”

“I’m happy for you, Buck,” Steve smiled at him and pulled him into a hug.

“You’ve become very huggy,” Bucky laughed as he wrapped his arm around Steve. 

“I blame Neeva,” Steve laughed.

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask her if you could stay with her.” 

“Trust me, I wanted to,” he laughed again. “But she needs her rest.” 

“I think I do too,” Bucky yawned and they headed back towards their rooms. Bucky was on one side of Neeva’s room and Steve’s room was on the other side. They said their goodnights before disappearing into their own rooms. Bucky laid down, thinking about today. 

He thought about how relieved he was that he was finally free of HYDRA’s control, he finally had full control of himself. He knew there was still a long journey ahead of him, he knew his past would still haunt him in the back of his mind -- but it was his mind, no one else could control it.

He thought about how Steve gave up everything to help him, how he was a criminal now. How he went from being America’s hero to America’s most wanted. Steve was so dedicated to the people in his life that he would do anything for them.

Then he thought about Neeva. He thought about how expressive she was when she talked, how she was constantly laughing, how even after everything, she had the most beautiful smile. 

Bucky was just about to fall asleep when he heard a crash come from the room next to him. Without hesitation he jumped out of his bed and ran. He burst into Neeva’s room and in the dark he could make out her form on the ground in the moonlight. She was quietly cursing to herself as Bucky ran over to her.

“What happened?” he asked her, looking her over to make sure she was okay.

“Well, funny story,” she started. “I couldn’t sleep and apparently when they said I was weak, they were not kidding. I tried to lower myself into the wheelchair and I couldn’t even hold my own weight to transfer myself from the fucking bed to the wheelchair.”

“Why were you trying to get out of bed?”

“Because I needed to go to the bathroom,” she told him and he nodded. 

“Wrap your arms around my neck,” he told her as he moved so that is armless side was against her.

“Why?” she scrunched up her eyebrows.

“Because I’m going to get you off of the floor,” he laughed and she blushed, thinking how stupid she was. He leaned against her and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he slipped his arm underneath her. Even with just one arm, he was still incredibly strong from the experiments Zola did on him. As he held her close to him, he realized just how skinny she was. He could feel her ribs against his chest, the bones in her legs against his arms. 

Not wanting to make her uncomfortable by carrying her into the bathroom, he set her down in the wheelchair. She thanked him as he rolled her towards the bathroom in her room and then she took over and closed the door behind her.

He closed her bedroom door that he had left open and then sat on her bed, waiting to help her back into bed when she came out. After a few moments, she rolled herself out and to her bed.

“How come you couldn’t sleep?” he asked her and he could see that even in the darkness, she was chewing her lip nervously.

“I’m very used to sleeping next to Steve,” she said quietly. 

“I can go get him,” he offered.

“No, it’s okay… I guess I have to get used to it, he’ll be leaving soon,” she sighed and he realized how hard it was going to be for her when Steve left.

“I can stay for a little while, if that’ll help,” he offered, his voice soft as he spoke. He could tell that she wanted to say yes, but also was afraid to. “I really don’t mind,” he assured her and she nodded.

“Please?” she asked quietly and he chuckled softly. He crouched down next to her in the wheelchair and she wrapped her arms around him and he picked her up then settled her into the bed. She moved towards the side against the wall and he realized she was making room for him and that he wasn’t going to be just sitting in the chair next to her bed. He got into the bed next to her, making sure he left a respectful amount of space between them.

“I’m surprised Steve didn’t come running when you fell,” he said and she laughed.

“Nothing can wake up Steve,” she told him. “Well, except for freezing him,” she laughed. 

“Do you have to do that a lot?”

“Basically every morning,” she laughed. “Do you like the cold?” she asked him and he laughed.

“I am the winter soldier,” he chuckled and before he knew it, the room was about twenty degrees colder.

“Good,” she smirked and he couldn’t help but to shiver. She laughed when she noticed him shivering and offered for him to get under the covers. He hesitated for a moment before climbing under the covers with her.

“Thank you for staying,” she said after a few minutes, her voice sounding tired.

“Of course,” he whispered as she started to fall asleep. He was unsure of when he should go back to his room, he didn’t want to go too soon because he didn’t want to wake her. He waited a few moments, listening to her steady breathing, before deciding he should probably get up. 

Just as he was about to slip away, she moved closer to him, curling up to his side and laying her arm across his chest. He didn’t realize that he was smiling as she cuddled into him. 

He was afraid that now he’d wake her if he tried to move, so he stayed. She was laying on his side with his arm and he moved it so that it was wrapped around her. He was afraid to fall asleep, afraid of the nightmares he might have. He tried to stay awake, tried to fight sleep. But he ultimately lost that battle, falling asleep with Neeva curled up next to him.   
  


Sunlight streamed through the window, gently waking up Bucky. His eyes fluttered open and he looked around, not recognizing where he was. It took a moment to realize he wasn’t alone, Neeva was sleeping on his chest and his arm was still wrapped tightly around her. A smile crept onto his face as he looked down at her, sleeping peacefully. 

As he laid there, he realized he didn’t have any nightmares. He couldn’t recall a time that he didn’t have nightmares. He couldn’t recall a time where he actually woke up feeling rested. He was unsure if he slept so well because of what Shuri did for him or if it was because next to Neeva, he felt so comfortable -- and safe. 


	8. Chapter 8

Neeva began to stir as the sun woke her up. Bucky watched her as she scrunched her nose up then pulled the blanket over her head and hid her face into Bucky’s chest. He couldn’t help but to chuckle as he watched her. The movement from his laughter caused her to wake up a little more and she sat up slightly and looked at him. When she realized it was Bucky in her bed and not Steve, her eyes doubled in size.

“Good morning,” he chuckled, his voice still deep from sleep.

“Good morning,” she said quietly, her cheeks a light shade of pink as she removed herself from his chest and laid down beside him. “You sleep well?” she asked him as he turned on his side towards her, propping himself up on his arm.

“Yeah, actually,” he smiled. “You?”

“Very well,” she smiled back at him. “Thank you for staying.”

“Of course, anytime” he found himself unable to stop smiling. “I’m going to go shower,” he told her as he forced himself to leave her bed. He couldn’t help but to smile as he pulled her door shut behind him. 

“Uh-hem,” he heard someone clear their throat, startling him. When he looked up, he saw Steve standing there and his angry glare made Bucky’s stomach fall to his feet as he realized what this look liked. Before he could say anything, Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him into Bucky’s room.

“Explain,” Steve said, his arms crossed, his expression angry.

“Well, last night when I was about to fall asleep, I heard a crash come from Neeva’s room and I rushed in there to find Neeva on the floor. She couldn’t fall asleep and then she was too weak to get to the bathroom and that’s why she fell --”

“But why did you never leave?” Steve interrupted him.

“She said she couldn’t fall asleep because she was so used to falling asleep next to you and she asked me to stay,” Bucky told him. 

“Oh,” Steve said softly. 

“I was going to sneak out, but then she curled up next to me and I wasn’t able to leave without waking her,” he explained quickly and Steve nodded. 

“You’re not going to kill me?” Bucky raised his brow and Steve laughed.

“No,” he shook his head. “I thought letting her sleep on her own would allow her to get more rest.”

“She feels most comfortable when someone is there with her,” Bucky shrugged. “It makes her feel safe.”

“Will you be there for her when I’m gone?” Steve asked him, his voice quiet.

“Of course, Steve,” he assured him, Steve stared at him silently. “Can I take a shower now?” he eventually asked, making Steve laugh. 

Steve left Bucky’s room and knocked on Neeva’s door. He heard her muffled voice through the door, inviting him in.

“Good morning,” she smiled at him.

“Good morning,” he smiled at her as he sat on her bed, hiding something in his hand from her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” she assured him. 

“So,” he started, “I ran into Bucky on his way out…” Neeva turned a dark shade of pink and looked down at her hands. “He already explained, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think that you might not want to be alone.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. 

“I have something for you,” he said and she raised her brow. He showed him what was in his hands and she couldn’t help but to smile. “Color remover.”

“Oh thank god,” she laughed.

“It’s supposed to strip the color from your hair pretty easily, according to Natasha. She said she used temporary color so it should come out easier than permanent. I can help you put it in.”

“Thanks, Steve,” she smiled and he nodded. Steve helped her out of bed and into her wheelchair then he carefully read the instructions to the remover before applying it to her hair.

“This smells terrible,” she laughed.

“Not the best, but it’s already working,” he told her as he continued to run the product through her hair, watching as the color began to disappear. When her hair was fully saturated, Steve was careful to go back through and make sure each strand was coated before combing it through her brows. 

“There,” he said when he was satisfied with his work. He checked his watch, making note of when he finished. “This afternoon you’ll start your rehabilitation,” he told her as he sat on her bed.

“I can tell that my healing has been trying to help recover my muscles, but it’s hard to heal something that’s not actually there. Rehab will probably help to speed up the process,” she said and he nodded.

“It’s going to be a process, you’re not going to feel stronger overnight,” he told her and she nodded. “How have you been feeling -- mentally?”

“Honestly? I feel relieved. I’m not as anxious as before, which might be because I’m not running. Knowing we’re safe in Wakanda, I’m not as scared.”

“I’m glad,” he tried to smile. 

“So am I,” she smiled. 

“And how are things with Bucky?” Steve smirked as he raised his brow and Neeva turned a light shade of pink. She looked down, playing with her hands.

“Fine,” she shrugged, trying to play it off.

“What’s it like being around him?” he pressed and he noticed that she was trying not to smile.

“I’m enjoying getting to know him,” she said quietly. “You’ve talked about him for so many years, it’s been really nice getting to know him and not just your memories of him. I always wished I’d be able to meet him and I never thought that I would actually get the opportunity to. Let alone meet him and spend time with him, becoming friends with him.”

“Just friends?” Steve asked her and she smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact with him.

“I mean, that’s not up to just me,” she said quietly and he couldn’t help but to smile. 

“Ah.” The Bucky he knew in the 40s wouldn’t have treated Neeva the way he has been if he didn’t have feelings for her. He wouldn’t have innocently stayed overnight with her just to comfort her, he was already becoming so protective of her. Steve could tell that he already cared for her.

“How much longer should this stuff stay in?” Neeva interrupted his thoughts and he looked at his watch.

“I think you can go ahead and wash it out,” he told her and she didn’t move.

“Hey Steve?” she finally asked, playing with her hands nervously.

“Yeah, Neev?” 

“Can you help me get into the shower?” she asked, still looking at the hands. “I just can’t step into it.”

“Of course,” he said. He wrapped one arm around her and put another under and then he paused as he picked her up. “How did Bucky get you off the floor?” he asked, causing her to laugh.

“He’s pretty strong for having one arm,” she laughed as Steve carried into her bathroom. She was grateful that she had a tub in her room as Steve set her down into it. He moved all of her shampoos and soaps down to the side of the tub so that she could reach them. Neeva didn’t have many pieces of clothing here in Wakanda, but he grabbed a new outfit for her before shutting the bathroom door.

He sighed as he closed the door -- how was he going to ask her to leave here when she was back to full strength? She feels secure, she feels safe here. How could he ask her to go back into hiding? To go back undercover and move from motel to motel? He couldn’t do that to her, no matter how much he wanted her back out there next to him, he couldn’t do that.

Neeva was frustrated by how weak she was as she peeled her clothes off and started the water. She was already feeling stronger than she was last night, her healing abilities helping her to recover. 

She washed her hair twice, trying to get the smell of the remover out of her hair before conditioning it. When she was finished showering and the water drained from the tub, she used her powers to completely remove the water from her hair and body before getting dressed. 

“Steve?” she called out once she was dressed.

“It’s actually Bucky,” she heard Bucky say outside the door. “Steve went to figure out what to do about breakfast.”

“Oh, well you can come in,” she said. He opened up the door to see her sitting in the tub, completely dressed. 

“You’re blonde again,” he smiled at her and she blushed. 

“It worked?” she asked him and he nodded.

“It looks really good,” he smiled and she noticed him biting his lip.

“Thanks,” she smiled shyly.

“You can use your powers to dry your hair?” he laughed.

“Controlling water has its perks,” she laughed as she shrugged. His hair was still damp and wavy, hanging messily around his face He watched her as she raised her hand, her hand movements fluid. He was so intrigued as he watched her that it took him a moment to notice what she was actually doing -- removing the water from his hair.

“Thanks,” he laughed before walking over to the tub and bending down to pick her up. 

“Steve couldn’t figure out how you managed to pick me up,” she told him and he scoffed. 

“I can still do a lot with one arm,” he smirked as he carried her out of the restroom. 

“Oh yeah?” she raised her brow as he set her down on her bed. 

“Ye-”

“T’Challa would like us to join him for breakfast,” Steve’s voice interrupted them.

“Great, I’d love to see more of Wakanda,” Neeva told him. 

“Your hair looks great!” Steve exclaimed as he rushed over to her. “I’m so glad it worked and got all of that red out,” he said as he picked her up bridal style, twirling her around.

“You’re so excited,” she laughed.

“You look like my Neeva, again,” he smiled as he set her down in the wheelchair. 

“I feel more like myself,” she sound relieved. “I also feel pretty hungry,” she said, making Steve laugh. 

“Well the King is waiting for us,” Steve said as he began to roll her out of her room. Bucky shook his head, smiling as he followed them. Neeva looked behind her, making sure that Bucky was there and she smiled when she saw him. He caught up with them so he was walking beside her and he couldn’t help but to smile as he looked down at her. Steve smirked as he watched the two interact but pretended not to notice. 

“You know, I could technically fly there,” Neeva said.

“No, you should preserve your energy until you’re at full strength,” Steve said and she nodded, allowing him to push her through the halls of the palace.

“Thank you for joining us,” T’Challa smiled at them. 

“How are you both feeling?” Shuri asked Bucky and Neeva.

“Good, thank you, again,” Bucky smiled at her.

“And you, Neeva?” she asked her.

“Weak, but okay,” Neeva smiled at her. Steve pushed Neeva up to a chairless spot at the table beside Bucky as the rest of them sat down.

“Thank you three again for joining us,” T’Challa stood at the head of the table. “Wakanda has not welcomed visitors in the past, but we are excited to have the three of you here with us and look forward to your stay in Wakanda, Neeva and Bucky. I believe there will be plenty of opportunity for you here in Wakanda and you two will always have a home here.” He sat down and they both thanked him. 

T’Challa and Steve discussed what was going on with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Accords, Shuri listened to them intently and Bucky chimed in occasionally. Neeva sat there quietly, thinking about what T’Challa said -- they will always have a home here. She didn’t have to go back on the run, she wouldn’t have to go undercover again. She could stay here, she could be safe, she didn’t have to hide who she was or what she could do. But then she looked at Steve -- how could she stay here when he was out there, running and hiding? 

Bucky noticed Neeva let out a shaky breath and he wanted to ask her if she was okay, but he didn’t want to draw everyone’s attention to her if she was upset. For the rest of breakfast, Bucky kept glancing over at Neeva, checking to make sure she was okay. He noticed that she didn’t say anything all of breakfast and hardly looked up from her plate. Bucky was grateful that when everyone was finished eating, T’Challa and Steve went on a walk to continue their conversation. 

There was less than an hour before Neeva had her rehabilitation appointment and Shuri explained to Bucky how to get to the gym. When he felt confident that he could find his way, Bucky led her out of the hall and stopped at a vacant bench so he could talk to her.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her as he sat down.

“Nothing,” she said softly as she nervously played with her hands.

“Neeva,” his voice was soft as he took her hands in his. “I can tell you’re upset about something.”

“It’s just -- what T’Challa said, about there being opportunities for us here and how we’d always have a home here… Wouldn’t it be so great to stay? To not have to run or hide? We’d be able to live actual lives without constantly checking over our shoulders…”

“And that makes you sad?” he asked confused and she sighed.

“I can’t abandon Steve, I can’t be selfish,” she shook her head, her voice cracking as she avoided eye contact with him. 

“Don’t you think it’d be selfish of Steve to ask you to leave here?” he asked her softly.

“But he won’t,” she looked at him, tears welling in her eyes. “He’s too selfless to ask me to come with him, even though I know that’s what he would want. We’ve always been together, through everything that’s happened these past seven years, we always went through it together. I can’t just leave him out there now, running and hiding alone. He’s my family,” she shook her head. She tried so hard not to cry, but her tears betrayed her, slipping down her cheeks. His heart broke for her, knowing she would have to choose between herself and Steve.

“I think Steve would want you to be happy, to feel safe. I know Steve, he cares about you and he would want what’s best for you,” he assured her and she continued to shake her head. “I know you love him and I know you’re afraid to miss him and be away from him -- but we still have time to figure everything out. You’re too weak to be thinking about joining him out there, right now…”

“But,” she let out a shaky breath. “He does have to go soon…” 

“I know,” he sighed. “But you know Steve, he doesn’t want to leave his team out there alone.”

“That’s Cap for ya,” she tried to laugh. “He never leaves anyone behind, you know that from firsthand experience.”

“He’s saved so many people because of it, though,” he smiled, shaking his head. 

“What did you think when you first saw him after his transformation?” she asked him.

“He was taller,” he laughed. “I wasn’t all there whenever he found me because of what the doctor was doing to me, so I wasn’t sure if it was real or not. But when I realized it was real, I don’t know, it was a shock. He was no longer the small kid from Brooklyn that I always tried to protect, he was now trying to protect me and the whole country. He didn’t need me standing up for him anymore.”

“But he still needed you,” she said softly. “He was still mourning you after he woke up, he would talk constantly about you. Whenever I’d watch a baseball game with him, he’d tell me he wished you were there. Whenever we’d go to the movies, he’d tell me about how much you enjoyed the movies and how he wished you could see what they looked like now. Anytime we’d do something, he’d say ‘I wish Bucky was here to see this.’ He’s always needed you and I know that he’s so happy to have you back in his life.”

“I just wish I wouldn’t have messed up everything for him,” he sighed.

“That wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do anything,” she assured him. 

“He gave up everything for me,” he shook his head.

“Maybe he did,” she shrugged. “But he would do it all again, Bucky. You are his best friend, he searched for you for years.”

“What was he like after D.C.?”

“He seemed a little on edge, always looking over his shoulder. I just assumed that he was on edge because S.H.I.E.L.D. fell because it was compromised by H.Y.D.R.A. I didn’t know he was looking for you.”

“What?”

 

“He didn’t tell me about you, the Winter Soldier. He didn’t tell me that you were there, that you were alive somewhere but you weren’t really you. He told me S.H.I.E.L.D. fell because of HYDRA, and that was it. He had Tony take me out of town during that fight,” she told him and he looked at her, confused.

“Why?” he asked and she chewed on her bottom lip. 

“Because he didn’t want me to know you were still alive, he didn’t want me to get my hopes up. Steve spent the last seven years telling me stories about you, so it upset me that I’d never have the opportunity to actually meet you. So, he looked for you with Sam, without telling me. I feel stupid that I didn’t realize something was off, we’d ‘travel’ and he would actually be looking for you.”

“I had no idea that you didn’t know,” he told her and she shrugged. 

“I think that’s why I was so determined to help you,” she said quietly. “When Steve would tell me his stories about you, I don’t know… I just felt this connection to you and I mourned over the fact that I wouldn’t be able to meet you. But then suddenly, you were real… You were no longer a memory, no longer a ghost. Part of me couldn’t believe it, part of me didn’t want to because what if they were wrong? What if it wasn’t actually you? I had to see that you were alive for myself --” he cut her off by kissing her, he tangled his fingers into her hair and pulled her closer to him. Even though he caught her off guard, she melted into the kiss. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, his fingers still tangled in her hair.

“Don’t apologize,” she whispered softly and he couldn’t help but to kiss her again. He could feel her smiling into the kiss and he pulled away, smiling himself.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

“Thank you,” she smiled shyly, her cheeks a light shade of pink. 

“We should probably get to the gym,” he smiled and she nodded.

“It really is pretty here,” Neeva said as Bucky pushed her through Wakanda.

“Definitely not a bad place to be stuck in for the next several months,” he agreed.

“Several?” she looked up at him, concerned.

“It’s going to take awhile for us to both recover, doll. Not only do we have to get our strength back, but we’ll have to combat train as well,” he explained and she nodded, trying not to think too much about the fact that he called her doll. Or the fact that they’d be here together for several months. Or the fact that she would be separated from Steve for several months. She let out a shaky breath and Bucky stopped pushing her and instead rested his hand on her shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay,” he assured her and she nodded. “Steve’s not going to be alone out there and you’re not going to be alone here,” he smiled and she nodded again before he started pushing her again. 

This would be a lot easier with two arms, he thought to himself as he pushed her wheelchair. But, he was managing with just one. 

When they arrived at the gym, two physical therapists were there waiting for them. One of them led Bucky to one side of the room, the other pushed Neeva to the other side. The therapists went over the physical therapy plans with Bucky and Neeva before they began their sessions. Bucky couldn’t help but to glance over at Neeva every once in awhile. Her session was much difference than his. The therapist was moving and stretching her legs, then they would move on to a light arm workout. Meanwhile, Bucky’s therapist was pushing him to run faster on the treadmill while monitoring his heart rate. The intense cardio session was followed by a just as intense weight training session. 

When they were both done, Bucky was exhausted and drenched in sweat. Before Neeva’s session ended, her physical therapist gave her some gloves to wear so that she could get around herself in the wheelchair. 

“Your physical therapy session was a lot more intense than mine,” Neeva laughed as she rolled her way over to Bucky. His hair was pulled back into a bun but a few pieces fell from the bun and were framing his face. Even sweaty and tired, Neeva couldn’t help but to think about how attractive he looked. 

“Yeah, yours looked a lot more fun,” he laughed. He stepped behind her wheelchair and began to push her out of the gym. 

“I can do it,” she said as she looked up at him.

“I don’t mind,” he smiled down at her. They made their way back to their rooms, Bucky left Neeva in her room as he went to shower. Five minutes didn’t even pass before Steve was knocking on her door. 

“Where’s Buck?” Steve asked as be joined her on her bed.

“Taking a shower, his session was a little harder than mine,” she laughed.

“How’d that go?”

“It was okay, just some basic stretches and movements and a little arm workout with nothing more than five pounds,” she shrugged.

“You have to start somewhere,” he told her and she nodded. 

“Hey Steve?” she chewed on her lip nervously. 

“What’s up, Neevie?” 

“Bucky kissed me,” she said quickly and he looked at her, eyes wide. “And I kissed him back.”

“Neeva,” Steve was lost for words. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Yeah,” she smiled softly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Steve.”

“Was that your first kiss?” he asked her softly and she turned a dark shade of pink. 

“Well, yeah,” she shrugged. “I mean, you know that I was homeschooled and that I’m not exactly one to willingly put myself in social settings… so who else would it have been? I wasn’t going to just kiss a stranger.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” he nodded. “I just didn’t realize…”

“It’s fine,” she told him. “I mean, did you ever realize that I didn’t talk about wanting a boyfriend? Have you ever heard me talk about wanting a boyfriend or having a family one day?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I guess I haven’t… why is that?”

“I didn’t think it would ever happen for me,” she said softly. “Growing up, my family wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. All they wanted was to get rid of me. They tried everything, Steve. Starving me, leaving me to die in the cold, stabbing me,” her voice broke as she talked. “But my powers prevented me from dying, they forced me to survive as these people tried to kill me. When they finally realized they couldn’t kill me, they gave up and the town cowered in fear. My parents were forced to watch over me, I the village elders deemed me their responsibilities and if anything happened - it was on them. I never saw happiness within my family, but I saw it amongst the other villagers. Even at a young age, I thought to myself ‘No one will ever be happy like that with me, I’m a monster,’” she took a deep breath. Steve’s heart broke as she spoke -- and so did Bucky’s. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he was about to pull the door open when he heard them talking. Her words froze him in his tracks. 

“Then S.H.I.E.L.D found me and I thought ‘Someone finally wants me.’ But, they only wanted me for my powers, they weaponized me. They had no interest in me, only my powers and that just enforced my thoughts. Who would ever want me? Growing up, I clung to that feeling of pain and rejection, I used it in my training and fighting. I didn’t grow up knowing what love felt like, only pain. By the time that Tony took me in, it was already ingrained in my mind. It’s always been there. And I did feel lonely, especially when he’d have girlfriends. I’d feel lonely knowing I would never have that. But that loneliness did go away, it went away the day you woke up,” she smiled sadly at him. “You are my person, Steve. You are the brother I didn’t know I needed. You taught me more than you probably even realize, you taught me what love was and I was fine, I was happy. But you were right, I didn’t know what it meant to be in love and I didn’t realize I already was,” she sighed and Steve’s eye grew wide.

“I mean, I was aware that I felt something whenever someone would mention Bucky or I would see his picture in the museum. But, I had no idea what it was… but then I saw him. And when I saw him, I understood what you meant,” she finished and Steve pulled her into a hug.

“Neeva,” he whispered her name. “Do you still feel that way about yourself?” he asked and he felt her shrug into the hug. 

“No one, and I mean no one, deserves you,” he pulled away from her. “You are so incredibly special, Neeva. You are smart, kind, sweet, funny and just the most amazing person I have ever met. No one will ever be good enough for you, but you deserve to love and be loved. You deserve true love and true happiness.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Neeva whispered.

“So, do you think you’ll have that with Bucky?” he raised his brow, causing her to blush.

“I told you, that’s not up to just me,” she laughed. “But if it was…” her voiced drifted off and Bucky couldn’t help but to smile.


	9. Chapter 9

“You really have to go?” Neeva pouted 

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. “The team needs me, Neev, it’s already been over a week.”

“I know, I just wish…” 

“Me too,” he whispered as he crouched down in front of her wheelchair and pulled her into his arms. “You have the flip phone, it can’t be tracked, call me anytime.”

“I will,” she nodded as she tried not to cry.

“Tony’s number is in there too,” he whispered and she let out a shaky breath. “He doesn’t have your number, only mine and when you call, your number won’t show.”

“I don’t think -”

“I do. I think you should call him and I’m sure he would love to know that you’re okay. Just think about it,” he said and she nodded. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you, too,” her voice cracked and tears threatened to spill. He pulled away from her and kissed her on the forehead before hugging Bucky and telling him goodbye, too. Neeva let out another shaky breath as she watched Steve board the quinjet. She had no idea when she’d see him again and it broke her heart watching him leave.

“It’s okay,” Bucky pulled her into a hug as she watched the quinjet disappear from the protective dome.

“It sucks,” she cried and he couldn’t help but to chuckle. He pulled away and wiped her tears away. 

“It’s only temporary,” he assured her. “Ready to go see our new homes?” he asked her and she nodded. He followed the directions Shuri gave him and began pushing her wheelchair in the opposite direction of the city. Neeva was quiet as she took in her surroundings. 

As they left the city, they began walking through the forest, following a dirt path. Neeva held onto her bag of the few things she had tightly. She didn’t know what to expect and that made her anxious. 

Neeva felt the flip phone in the pocket of her bag and she chewed her lip nervously. She had been thinking a lot about Tony lately, wondering if he was okay. She hoped Pepper was there for him. She hoped he was happy. She hoped that he wasn’t drinking his sorrows away. 

Even though she told herself not to, she did miss him. She tried not to, she tried to be angry at him -- but he was her family. He rescued her from S.H.I.E.L.D. all of those years ago and gave her a life. She let her anger for the Accords tear them apart and now that she calmed down, she missed him. She still wouldn’t change anything, but she could try to fix things.

“I think we’re getting close,” Bucky interrupted her thoughts and she jumped slightly. “What are you thinking about?”

“Tony,” she told him. “I don’t know if I should call him or not.”

“Do you want to?” 

“Kind of,” she sighed and he stopped pushing her. He came around and crouched in front of her.

“What’s holding you back?” he asked softly.

“What if he wants nothing to do with me?” she whispered and he thought back to what he overheard her and Steve talked about.

“Why wouldn’t he, Neev? He’s your dad,” he took her hand in his.

“Because he doesn’t agree with the choices I made, because I fought against him,” she shook her head.

“None of that matters -- he’s your family. I’m sure he’s been worried sick about you and would love to hear from you,” he assured her.

“Maybe,” she sighed.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” he told her and she nodded. He began to push her down the dirt trail again and when they emerged from the forest, he stopped.

“Wow,” she said under her breath.

“Yeah,” he agreed as they looked at the village. It was small and there were only a few other huts, but it was on the shore of a beautiful lake.

“Shuri said that it was the hut farthest from the river,” he said. “I think it’s that one,” he pointed to the hut nestled amongst the treeline. Neeva’s eyes grew wide, not knowing that the two of them were going to share a hut. But at the same time, she was relieved she wouldn’t have to sleep alone.

There was a note waiting inside the hut for them and Bucky picked it up.

“Neeva and Sgt. Barnes,” he started. “As you begin to settle in, you should know that we have provided you both with a trunk full of traditional clothes as well as supplies that will last you through the rest of the week. Each week, you will receive new supplies. The garden behind the hut is yours as well as the chicken coop and you’ll find the fire pit and stove set up outside as well as your restroom. Feel free to wash in the creek behind your hut, fish from the lake and hunt in the woods. Your physical therapists will continue to visit you three times a week but encourage you to use what you’ve learned on your own. If you ever need anything, please let us know - Shuri.”

“Well this will be interesting,” Neeva laughed and Bucky rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Do you know how to fish?” he asked her and she laughed, shaking her head. “I’ll teach you,” he smiled at her.

“Do you know how to take care of chickens?” she asked him.

“Not at all,” he laughed.

“This is quite a change from what I’m used to,” she looked around the small hut.

“Maybe that was the point,” he shrugged. She removed the bag from her lap and stretched her legs out in front of her, she was confident that she’d be able to walk again soon. 

“Now what?” she asked him.

“I have no idea,” he looked around the little hut before spotting the trunk Shuri’s note mentioned. There was one labeled for him and one labeled for Neeva. He opened them both and he couldn’t help but to chuckle. “Interesting is right…” he said and Neeva rolled over to him and the trunks.

“She did say traditional,” she said as she looked over the clothes in the trunk. 

“How do we even wear these?” he asked confused. 

“I can help with that,” a voice said and they both jumped, turning around quickly to find a woman in their doorway. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you both. I just saw you arrived and wanted to introduce myself. I’m Asha,” she smiled at them and then looked to the side of Neeva’s head -- where icicles hovered beside her, pointed at the woman.

“It’s okay,” Neeva blushed and the ice disappeared. “I’m Neeva.”

“Bucky,” he said, still tense from being startled. “Please, come in.” She continued to smile as she walked over to the trunks of clothes. 

“Yes, I can definitely show you how to wear these if you’d like,” she offered.

“Please,” Neeva smiled at her. 

“There are a couple different ways you can wear the fabrics,” Asha explained as she took one of the fabrics from the trunk. “May I?” she asked Bucky and he nodded. 

She begin to drape the fabric around him. Neeva watched as she draped the fabric across Bucky and over his clothes, almost forming a halter top from the fabric before closing it all with a belt. She continued showing them different ways they could arrange the top part, showing Neeva what she could do but using Bucky as her model. She then grabbed a smaller piece of fabric from the trunk and Bucky was confused as to what it would cover at first. But then Asha tied it, making a sling out of the fabric and then tying it around his shoulder.

“Did that help?” she asked when she was finished.

“Yes, thank you,” Neeva nodded, she was grateful there was someone that could guide them. 

“I’ll let you both continue to get settled,” she smiled at them. “If you ever need anything, my hut is the one closest to the water.” 

“Thank you again,” Bucky told her as she left their hut. Neeva watched him remove the fabrics from his body, revealing his normal clothes. Neeva looked at her backpack on the floor, seeing the outline of the phone in the pocket.

“I think I’m going to call him,” she told Bucky and he couldn’t help but to smile as he fished the phone out of the pocket.

“Before you chicken out,” he told her, holding the phone out in front of her. “I’m going to look around outside,” he said before exiting the hut. She let out a shaky breath as she looked down at the phone.

 

Tony felt a phone vibrate in his pocket and immediately knew it was different from his phone’s normal vibration. He pulled the old flip phone that came in a package out of his pocket as he got up to close and lock his office door. The number was blocked out and he was confused, only Steve should have this number.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Dad?” the voice was just a whisper on the other end. His breath caught in his throat, he never thought he’d hear that voice again.

“Neeva,” he breathed out and tears formed in his eyes. “Neeva, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” her voice cracked on the other end. 

“Thank god,” he whispered. “I’ve been so worried about you, Neev.”

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I probably would have called you sooner if I could have -- I’ve kind of been asleep this whole time.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. “For the last four months?”

“Yeah.”

“What? Why? How? Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked quickly.

“I guess -” she started. “I guess that I was struggling to comprehend all of the different emotions I was feeling and my powers took over, putting me in a self-induced cyro-sleep.”

“Oh my god,” he breathed out.

“Steve searched for a way to wake me this whole time and was successful about a week ago,” she explained. “I’m okay now… I just lost a lot of weight and muscle mass and can’t really walk on my own.”

“Neeva, come home, I’ll protect you,” he whispered and he couldn’t tell, but she was smiling on the other end of that call. Smiling while tears rolled down her cheeks. “You’re still my little girl,” he told her and a sob shook through her.

“I was so scared that you’d want nothing to do with me,” she cried. “I thought you thought I was a monster.”

“I would never…” he whispered. “You are anything but that. You are strong, independent, and brave... I am so proud to be your father, Neeva,” his voice cracked. 

“Thanks, dad,” she cried. “I’m sorry I said you weren’t my dad.”

“I forgive you, I know you were upset with me. I’m still upset with myself.”

“I can’t come home,” she told him.

“I know that too,” a tear rolled down his cheek. “Are you safe?”

“Yeah, I am,” she assured him. 

“Will you continue to call me?”

“I promise.”

“I love you, Neeva,” he told her.

“I love you, too,” she cried. “I’ll talk to you soon,” she said before hanging up. Tony let out a shaky breath and the tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He thought he’d never hear from her again, he thought she’d never forgive him -- but she did.


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky returned to the hut to find Neeva crying and he rushed over to her, pulling her into a hug.

“You okay?” he whispered and she nodded. 

“Yeah, the call actually went really well,” she told him and he wiped her tears away. “He told me to come home,” her voice broke.

Bucky picked her up out of her wheelchair, carrying her over to their bed in the corner. He held her close, trying his best to comfort her. 

“I’m sorry, Neeva,” he whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair. 

“He doesn’t hate me, though…”.

“I knew that he wouldn’t.”

“He asked me to keep calling him.”

“That’s wonderful, doll,” he smiled. “I’m glad you guys were able to make up.”

“I just wish we could have done it in person,” she sighed.

“One day, I promise,” he told her. “I promise that one day, you’ll be happy.” She pulled away from him, shaking her head.

“Bucky, you make me happy,” she laughed underneath her breath. Did the super soldier really not know? He let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t realize he was holding in. All he wanted was to be the one that made her happy. 

Before she could say anything else, his lips were on hers and he was pulling her into his lap. She kissed him back hard, tangling her fingers into his hair as she straddled him. His hand travelled to the low of her back, just underneath her shirt, pulling her even closer to him. 

Her skin was cold against his warm hand, the coolness of it brought him back to reality. If he didn’t stop, he knew where this would go. The conversation he overheard flashed through his mind. If he was her first kiss, then...

“Sorry,” he whispered as he pulled away from her, resting his forehead against hers. She tucked a loose piece of his chestnut hair behind his ear and smiled softly at him. 

_God, her smile,_ he thought as he gazed at her.

“You apologize a lot,” she whispered and kissed him again. He wanted to keep kissing her, he wanted to lay her down on this bed and --

“Neeva,” he stopped her. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” her brows furrowed together. What could be so important? He sighed, hoping she wouldn’t be upset with him for eavesdropping.

“I heard you and Steve talking last week,” he whispered, worried of how she’d react. “About your past, the impact it had on you…”

“And the fact that I’d never kissed anyone before,” she finished for him and he nodded, not meeting her gaze. 

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” he told her. “I was about to knock when I heard you two…”

“It’s okay,” she assured him and he let out the breath he was holding. “I probably should have told you myself.” 

“You didn’t have to,” he assured her. “It doesn’t change anything, doll, I just don’t want to push you or rush this…”

“You’re not,” she smiled softly. “Thank you for being so respectful, though. I do appreciate it.”

“Of course, doll,” he whispered and took another deep breath before telling her his truth. “And you should probably know, I haven’t been with anyone since before the war,” he told her and she couldn’t mask her surprise.

“Seventy years ago?” she asked him, eyes wide and he chuckled. “Sorry, I just forget how old you are.”

“Hey now,” he laughed. “I’m not old.” 

“You may look like you were in your twenties, but you were born in 1917,” she laughed. “You are a century old.” 

“Well, I think you like this old man,” his laugh was low and deep. 

“Yeah, I do,” she said softly and without hesitation, he kissed her hard and fast. 

“Be my girl,” he whispered against her lips.

“I already am,” she whispered into their kiss and he swore his heart stopped beating. 

“But…” she pulled away and he looked at her confused. “We should probably remember to pull the cover of our hut door shut.” He looked behind her and couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Maybe,” he continued to laugh. He tucked one of her curls back behind her ear. “We should probably work on your physical therapy, though.”

“That’s what you’re thinking about right now?” she raised her brow.

“That’s what I’m using as a distraction right now,” he whispered and she bit her lip.

_Fuck,_ he thought

“Plus, I had an idea for something that I think would help you walk sooner.”

“Fine,” she sighed as she removed herself from his lap. He got up from the bed so that he could help her into her wheelchair. 

“But won’t you miss carrying me when I can walk?” she teased.

“Who said I’ll stop?” he raised his brow and she couldn’t help but to laugh. 

“So, what is this great idea?” she asked him as he pushed her out of their hut. 

“You’ll see,” he told her as they made their way through the village. He couldn’t help but laugh as she sighed dramatically. 

“It’s so pretty,” Neeva said as he pushed her alongside the lake, away from the village and everyone else. Bucky stopped walking when they were out of sight from the village and she looked at him confused.

“We’re going swimming,” he told her.

“Uh, we don’t know what’s in that water,” she said in all seriousness, making him laugh. 

“Asha said it was perfectly safe, the fish are harmless,” he said and her eyes widened. “I think you’ll be able to walk in water.”

“If something touches me, I am flying out of there,” she warned him and he chuckled again. Everything she said made him smile or laugh. 

As she looked out on the water, Neeva was grateful that she was wearing her gym shorts and a sports bra under her shirt. Bucky took his shirt off and she couldn’t help but to bite her lip. 

_That’s not even fair,_ she thought to herself as he stretched his arm above him. She took off the shirt she was wearing before levitating herself out of the wheelchair.

“Hey now,” Bucky stepped closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. “You’re not supposed to do that.”

“But I miss flying,” she pouted as she wrapped her arms around his neck, floating so they were eye level. 

“Soon,” he assured her and she smirked, wrapping her legs around him. 

“Fine,” she whispered and his hand moved under her ass and he told himself that it was just to support her. She was very aware of his bare chest against her mostly bare skin. He was very aware of her chest pressed against him. He tried to push away his thoughts, tried to focus on keeping his footing as he walked into the lake.

Neeva squealed when she finally made contact with the water, torn away from her thoughts about Bucky’s chest. Bucky laughed at her reaction and stopped where he was.

“I think you’ll be able to touch here,” he said and she unwrapped her legs from his waist. His hand moved to her waist, worried this wouldn’t work like he thought it would. She was very aware of his hand on her waist as she put her weight on her feet. 

“Can you touch okay?” he asked and she nodded, bouncing on her feet slightly to test if they’d hold her. 

“I think you are onto something,” she told him and he smiled victoriously. She turned around and Bucky’s hand only left her waist for a moment as she turned. He held onto her as she took a step forward and then another. 

“This is fantastic,” she laughed as she walked throughout the water. “It’s so nice to be able to move around on my own.” Bucky caught her hand in his and twirled her around, pulling her to him.

“You don’t need me?” his voice was low as he intertwined their fingers. Chills spread up her back and down her arms. Her heartbeat quickened as she felt every inch of him against her. He lowered himself into the water, meeting her at eye level.

“Of course I do,” she said under her breath as he leaned in to kiss her. Her arms moved around his neck, his arm wrapped around her waist. They kissed each other desperately, like they relied on the other to stay alive. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him again. He pressed her close to him, she could feel every inch of him against her. She bit his bottom lip and he moaned her name against her lips. His hand dug into her hip, making her gasp.

“Bucky,” she moaned as he began kissing her neck. She tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling slightly and he moaned against her skin. 

“Fuck,” he whispered against her skin before returning to her lips. He kissed her gently before pulling away, sighing as he rested his forehead against hers. He didn’t want to do this here, rushed, in the lake. But god, he _wanted_ to. For the first time in seventy years, he ~~needed~~ wanted to. 

“You’re so handsome,” Neeva whispered and he felt himself blush.

_God, what is she doing to me,_ he thought to himself. With girls in the past, he had always been cocky, sarcastic and didn’t look for much more than a one night stand but with _her_ … with her, it was different. He wanted to protect her, to take care of her, to make her happy, wanted to _be with her._

“What are you thinking about?” she asked him as he was silent. She examined his features, his features were so much softer now than the first time she saw him. She noticed that he looked tired, he had dark blue bags under his eyes and she kept catching him yawn.

“You,” he admitted and her cheeks flushed a shade of pink. “We keep getting distracted,” he chuckled and she blushed darker.

“You’re the one that took their shirt off,” she mumbled, not meeting his gaze. 

“You like that?” he smirked -- there was the cockiness he remembered. 

“It should be a fucking crime to look like that,” she bit her lip and he chuckled. “It’s not fair that your cyrostatis preserved your muscles and I can’t even walk.”

“That’s probably because mine wasn’t do-it-yourself,” he shook her head. “Plus, I’ve been frozen quite a few times and I have Zula’s attempt at the super serum running through me.”

“Hey Bucky?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“Do you age?” she asked him softly. 

“Actually,” he started and her heart stopped, fearing his answer. “I do.”

“Really?” she finally met his gaze.

“Yes,” he laughed. “I age at the same rate as before I was turned into the Winter Soldier. In the whole seventy to eighty years or so that HYDRA had me in their control, they kept me frozen for a majority of that. They probably only kept me unfrozen for a total of about four years… Why do you ask?” 

“I was just wondering if we aged at the same rate,” she played it off and he smiled. He had a theory on why she asked, but he wasn’t going to press her.

“We should probably work on getting you walking again,” he said. She nodded and unwrapped her legs from around him, even though she didn’t want to.


	11. Chapter 11

They spent the rest of the afternoon walking throughout the river, sometimes in the deeper parts of the water and sometimes Bucky helped her in shallow parts so she could put more weight on her legs. When they emerged from the river, Neeva removed the water from both of them, completely drying them off. 

They made their way back to the village, discussing what they were going to do for dinner. To their surprise, Asha and the other villagers prepared a community dinner to welcome them to the village.That evening, they all laughed together and the villagers shared stories and tips on how to garden, take care of their chickens and cook over the fire. Bucky kept yawning and it was noticeable by all. Asha insisted that the two of them must be tired from their big day, insisting they go to bed.

“Are you okay?” Neeva asked Bucky as he sat down on the bed in their hut, but not meeting her gaze. “Have you been sleeping, alright?”

“Not really,” he said softly.

“What’s going on, Buck?” she pressed him gently. “How much sleep have you been getting?” 

“About an hour a night,” he admitted. “Every time I fall asleep, my nightmares just replay everything I did…” 

“Bucky,” she said softly, “why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s something I’ve had to deal with every night since escaping HYDRA,” he sighed.

“Every night?” she whispered.

“I can only think of one night that I didn’t have nightmare and actually got a full night’s sleep.”

“How long ago was that?”

“It was the night you couldn’t sleep,” he smiled sadly at her. “I think it was because it was the first night post-cyrostasis.”

“Maybe we can ask Shuri if she has anything that can help,” Neeva suggested.

“Maybe.”

“Is there anything I should know about your nightmares?” 

“Maybe don’t wake me,” he looked down at his hand. “I don’t want to hurt you… I can wake up violent.”

“Okay,” she whispered, even though she knew she could handle him. “We’ll figure it out,” she said and he nodded. Not wanting to bother him, she levitated out of her wheelchair and flew over to where their clothes were. 

“Neeva,” he started.

“I’m okay, really,” she assured him as she pulled an oversized shirt and pajama shorts out. She looked around the room, realizing there was no privacy in this hut. She glanced over at him and he was smirking.

“Turn around,” she laughed and he did so she could change. “Do you think it’s weird that we suddenly live together?” she asked as she changed.

“I guess I didn’t really think of it that way,” he told her. 

“Well, we live together,” she laughed as she pulled on the t-shirt. She settled into the bed and he turned around, smiling at her.

“Technically, we’re just injured criminals hiding out until we recover,” he chuckled.

“True,” she blushed, feeling stupid.

“It is a little crazy,” he told her as he sat down next to her. “I can’t imagine how crazy it is for you, going from thinking I was dead to living with me.”

“To being in a relationship with you,” she added and he smiled. 

“Yes,” he took his hand in hers. “Which makes the whole living together thing even crazier, that’s not how relationships usually go,” he chuckled.

“Well, I wouldn’t know,” she laughed.

“I wouldn’t really know either,” he admitted. “I was never one for commitment.”

“But you are now?” she asked, slightly worried.

“Yes,” he assured her. “I want to be with you, Neeva, and so what that we’re not following normal relationship timelines. We’re not exactly normal,” he chuckled. “I’m a century old and you can control ice, water, and wind.”

“This is true,” she laughed. 

“As long as we’re both happy, that is all that matters,” he said and she smiled.

“And I am.”

“Me too,” he told her.

“Are we in for the night?” she asked him and he nodded, slightly confused. From the bed, she manipulated the air around the rolled up cover for the door so that it unrolled. Bucky watched her, fascinated by her hand movements. She raised both hands, lifting them up and Bucky turned his gaze to the door to see her forming a door made of ice.

“Oh,” he exclaimed, surprised.

“It’ll help to keep the air in,” she explained and he shook his head.

“I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else,” he chuckled.

“You just want me for my powers,” she teased as air started to circulate in the room around them and the temperature began to decrease.

“It does feel better in here, though,” he sounded relieved. 

“You are welcome,” she laughed.

“Thanks,” he chuckled. “Hey, Neev?”

“Yes?” 

“Would you be uncomfortable if I slept in my boxers?” he asked and she blushed slightly.

“No,” she assured him, a slight blush on her cheeks as she laid down in their bed. She couldn’t help but to watch as he took his shirt off, revealing his muscular torso. He then slipped out of his pants and _fuck_ , she thought when she saw his muscles leading down to the top of his boxers. He laid down next to her and he was glad that she was on the side with his arm. 

Using the wind, she blew out the lanterns and candles around the hut. She was keeping a respectful amount of distance between them, like he did the night she asked him to stay with her. He noticed what she was doing and had to stop himself from chuckling.

“Come here,” he whispered as he reached out for her. He could see her smiling in the dark as she curled into his side.

“Wake me up if you need anything,” she yawned as she laid her head on his chest. 

“Goodnight, doll,” he kissed her forehead and he couldn’t believe how fast she fell asleep. He pulled the covers over them, amazed at how cold she made their African hut. 

Bucky was anxious to fall asleep, afraid that if he did that he would end up hurting Neeva -- the last thing he wanted to do. He tried to tell himself that she could defend herself against him easily, but then he reminded himself that she was weak, right now. He tried to distract himself, thinking of anything he could to prevent him from falling asleep, but sleep won out. 

 

When Neeva woke in the morning, she was relieved to see that Bucky was sleeping. She was worried that he was awake all night and that he had just fallen asleep, so she remained where she was. After a few moments though, her short attention span got the better of her and she was bored, but she didn’t want to leave the bed and wake him. She rolled off his chest slowly, lying on her back next to him and began to form designs out of ice above her. She formed intricate patterns, practically creating lace from the ice. She was so focused on what she was doing, she didn’t realize Bucky woke up.

“What are you doing?” he chuckled, his voice raspy and deep. His voice startled her and she jumped, the ice shattered above her and rained down on her. Laughing, she sat up and dissolved the shards of ice with one motion of her hand.

“I was bored and didn’t want to wake you,” she admitted. “How did you sleep?” He was quiet for a moment, realizing that it was morning now and he slept through the night.

“I didn’t have any nightmares,” his brows scrunched together and he looked at her. “I slept great.”

“That’s fantastic,” she exclaimed and tackled him with a hug. He chuckled as he held her close to him. His thoughts ran wild, trying to figure out why he slept so well. Then he realized that the answer might just be laying on his chest, with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She was the common factor from both of the nights he slept well. For a moment he was relieved, but then he was anxious. He was never a reliant person, he never had to rely on anyone but himself. 

Neeva sat up and her sudden absence from his chest tore him from his thoughts. He watched as she stretched her arms above her head, her shirt rising slightly. Then she raised both of her hands in front of her then dropped her fingers and he watched amazed as the door of ice evaporated. Her powers astonished him.

“So how do you think this ‘washing in the creek’ thing works?” she asked him.

“I guess we’re going to find out,” he chuckled and peeled himself out of the bed. There were two baskets with soaps and oils in it and he assumed they were meant for them to wash with. Neeva moved towards the end of the bed where the trunks of clothes were and fished around for an outfit for her.

“Going traditional?” he asked her as she pulled out vibrant fabrics.

“That is what we’re supposed to do,” she shrugged and he nodded. He grabbed clothes for himself and looked around the hut, seeing if there was anything else they might need. When he turned around, Neeva was floating in the air.

“Neev-”

“I think I should be using my powers, how else am I going to build up endurance and get stronger?”

“I guess that’s true,” he sighed, he just wanted to protect her. He looked at her as she levitated in front of him in the light streaming through the door. “Neeva… you’re burnt,” he noticed.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I figured that would happen.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked her softly and she shrugged.

“We’re in Africa,” she laughed. “I’m Finnish, I’m pale… I can’t just hide in this hut all day and avoid the sun.”

“But we could have at least asked if they had any sunscreen.”

“It’ll heal fast,” she assured him. “It’s okay.”

“We should ask Asha if there is a way to arrange the fabric to cover your shoulders more,” he said and she nodded and smiled, wanting to give him peace of mind.

She flew next to Bucky as they walked out of the hut and towards the woods behind them. 

“We really do have chickens,” Neeva laughed and they stopped at the coop to watch the chickens running around in their enclosure. Bucky noticed a bag of feed leaning against the hut and grabbed a scoop of food and sprinkled it around the enclosure.

“I think that’s what they wanted,” he chuckled as they chased after the food. Now that the chickens were fed, they continued their walk towards the creek. 

“That’s pretty big for a creek,” Bucky said when they finally reached it. Neeva thought it might as well have been a river.

“At least it’ll probably be deep enough for me to walk on my own in,” she said before turning to him. “Um, Bucky?”

“Yea?”

“So how exactly is the two of us naked in a creek going to work?” she asked and he choked on the air, startled by her bluntness. 

“That’s not what I expected,” he said when he regained his composure. “I guess you’ll go downstream and I’ll go upstream but neither of us will turn around. And Asha said no one ever comes this far down the creek so we don’t have to worry about anyone else.”

“No turning around,” she repeated and he nodded. He handed her the basket with more products, assuming it was hers. She flew downstream and set the clothes she was going to change into on the bank of the creek. She felt vulnerable being out in the open but then she had an idea. Ice particles gathered around her and she made the side that wasn’t facing her shine, making it reflective. This was a trick she learned from S.H.I.E.L.D., the ice was similar to the reflective panels on quinjets that made them invisible. She lowered herself into a more shallow part of the water so she would be able to wash herself, levitating the basket next to her so it wouldn’t float away. She smirked as she made it rain hard above her, allowing her to easily wash herself with clean water. 

She massaged the soap through her hair and across her body and once clean, she rain the oil through the end of her hair to condition it. Once she was clean, she levitated back to the bank and removed the water from her body and hair then wrapped herself in her robes.

“Neeva?” she heard Bucky call. “Can I turn around?”

“Yeah,” she called as she fastened her belt around her waist.

“Where the hell are you?” he called and she turned around to see him looking for her. She laughed, forgetting that she had masked herself. When he was closer to her, she dropped the shards of ice and startled him. 

“I forgot that I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” she shrugged as she removed the water from his hair. “Which is why I need to be using my powers more -- I’m forgetting what I can do.”

“Okay,” he nodded, realizing she was right. “We’ll practice more.” 

“Good,” she smiled.

“I see you figured out how to cover your shoulders,” he smiled and she nodded. 

“Hey Buck?”

“Yeah, doll?”

“I’m hungry,” she told him and he laughed. 

“Let’s go figure out this breakfast thing,” he chuckled.

While Bucky searched the inside of the hut for salt, Neeva investigated their garden. She identified some different herbs and vegetables as well as some watermelons growing.

“We have an avocado tree!” she exclaimed to Bucky when he emerged from the hut and he scrunched his nose.

“I’ve never had an avocado,” he told her and she audibly gasped. “They weren’t as trendy in the forties… Too bad we don’t have a plum tree,” he mumbled as he went over to the chicken coop to check for eggs. She chuckled, shaking her head as she began to pick some herbs, spinach and two avocados. When she was satisfied with her pickings, she watered the garden then joined Bucky by the firepit. 

“Hey Buck,” she said as she sat down next to him, watching him start the fire. He looked over his shoulder at her, a brow raised. “We can’t eat those chicken,” she told him, making him laugh. 

“Okay, doll,” he chuckled. “Can we eat the eggs though?”

“Yes, that’s okay,” she nodded and he shook his head, chuckling as he returned his attention to the fire pit. She flew back into the hut, searching for a bowl to mash the avocado in and was pleased to find a mortar and pestle. She grabbed a knife as well before returning to the firepit. She sat on one of the stumps around the firepit as Bucky cooked the eggs over the fire. Neeva sliced the avocados, removed the pits and scooped the fruit into the mortar bowl. She added some of the oil, pepper and salt that Bucky brought out before mashing it with the pestle. 

For their first attempt at cooking, they were proud of what they managed to make. 

“Try the avocado with the eggs,” Neeva encouraged Bucky and he looked at her, hesitant. He eyeballed the avocado, unsure of the smashed food. She watched him as he took a bite of the food, unable to read his expression. 

“It’s very strange,” was all he said, making her laugh. 

“Well if you don’t like it, that just means there’s more avocados for me.”


	12. Chapter 12

It didn’t take long for them to fall into a routine. Each day, they would wake up, make breakfast, train, eat lunch, hunt or fish for dinner, wash in the creek, make dinner, then spend the evening around the fire getting to know each other or the villagers. 

The village was beyond grateful for Neeva and her powers. She helped them all to water their gardens and also created large blocks of ice for them each day, allowing them to create an ice chest to save food or cool down their huts. They were also grateful for the breeze that seemed to follow her everywhere, it made the African sun a little more bearable. 

After only a couple of weeks, Neeva was walking again. She never realized how much she took walking for advantage until she was unable to do so. Her and Bucky would go on runs through the forest, using the terrain as an obstacle course to train. She would fly over obstructions while he would jump over them. Bucky was grateful they finally convinced Shuri to give them pants. 

They trained hard, both desperately wanting to get back to their full strength. Neeva’s favorite training was when they fought each other in hand to hand combat. Bucky was nervous at first, worried he might hurt her. He pulled his punches, only giving about fifty percent. It wasn’t until she punched him square in the nose that he realized that he needed to give it his all or neither of them would get stronger or better. 

Neeva called Steve everyday, giving him a progress report on how her and Bucky were doing but never discussing when they would rejoin Steve. Truth be told, Bucky and Neeva didn’t know if they wanted to. As much as they both loved Steve, they also loved the security they had in Wakanda. They weren’t fugitives here. They didn’t have to run or hide. They didn’t have to pretend to be someone else. They were able to live their lives in peace -- which is why Steve never asked them to rejoin him. As desperately as he missed Neeva, he wouldn’t put her in danger again. He still blamed himself for her even being in this position. 

In addition to calling Steve, Neeva called Tony about three times a week, but he was only ever able to answer about twice a week. They tried to schedule their calls so that he could make sure that he was alone when she called, but things would come up and he wouldn’t be able to answer. Tony’s heart broke every time he missed a call from her, it’s what he looked forward to every day. But he was so relieved when he was able to hear her voice, to hear that she was okay. He worried about her each day, worried about where she was and who she was with. She consistently assured him that she was okay, that she was safe and tried to focus the conversation on what he was doing and how he was. 

Tony tried to find her. He constantly had facial recognition working on every security camera in the world. He tried to track her calls, but the phone she was using must not have had a GPS in it. He talked to anyone and everyone he could that might know where she was -- but no one knew anything, or at least they pretended not to. 

He listened to everything she said carefully, hoping she would accidentally drop some clue as to where she was. Neeva was smart though, she knew how to be vague and avoid details. Only once did he hear someone else in the call, a man’s voice -- but it didn’t sound like Steve. And anytime Tony would ask about Steve, Natasha, or Wanda, she would reply with a vague answer about how they were good, leading him to believe she wasn’t even with them. 

He knew she wasn’t at full strength, though, so he assumed she was somewhere recovering. But why wouldn’t Steve be with her? Why would Steve ever leave her side willingly, especially when she was weak? The super soldier was incredibly protective of Neeva, that was something Tony had always relied on.

Who on earth could the Captain trust enough to leave the person he loves most with? Who could he trust to protect Neeva, the little sister he swore to protect? Who else did he rely on the most?

And then one day it hit Tony. Steve’s oldest friend, the only other person the soldier loved as much as Neeva. The only other person Steve would start a fucking war over.

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. 

Wherever the Sergeant was, Neeva was. _Of course._ Neeva gave up everything to save the Winter Soldier. Of course she’d leave Steve’s side if it meant she was able to remain next to Bucky. She was in love with him, after all. 

But Tony had no idea where he was, nobody else did either. Everyone was searching for him but it was like he dropped off the face of the planet. It was like they both did. If Neeva didn’t call him, he would have thought that she was dead. 

Where could they be that there were no cameras that Tony could connect to? Where could they go where there was no one that recognized them?

Unless everyone recognized them. Unless everyone knew perfectly well who they were and they were working to protect them, working to fix them.

“Son of a bitch,” Tony whispered as the realization hit him. It had been a year since the war and it just now dawned on him. 

“Tony, is everything okay?” Rhodey asked him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Peachy,” Tony stood. “As riveting as this meeting is, I have a call to make,” he showed himself out, ignoring Rhodey’s calls behind him. We walked quickly to his office, locking the door behind him and closing the blinds. He flipped a switch under his desk. It was sort of like a white noise machine, it prevented anyone from hearing inside his office, prevented any type of audio recorder from working, and it cloaked the signals of his calls. He built it right after Neeva called him.

“Good evening, Tony,” the voice answered his call.

“T’Challa,” Tony answered, his jaw tense. “I know that my daughter is there.” 

“I do not know what you are talking about,” the king lied. 

 

“Do not lie to me. I have been racking my brain for the last year. I have been checking every corner, looking under every stone. I have accumulated more mileage points this year than I have in my entire life. I have looked everywhere, been everywhere, talked to everyone. Everyone but you. Because I thought you hated Bucky, I thought you wanted him dead. It never dawned on me that you might be protecting him and alongside him, my daughter. It would explain why I haven’t seen them on any cameras, because Wakanda doesn’t have any or at least they aren’t accessible.” 

The king was silent. He was caught and he didn’t know how to lie his way out of this.

“I’m not asking for her to come back, I’m not asking for her to leave the safe house you have so generously provided her with. I trust that she’s safe there and I know that she would be in danger anywhere else... I’m just asking if I can come visit, if I can come see her. I miss her, I miss my kid,” Tony begged and T’Challa paused, considering the request. 

“Alright,” T’Challa said softly and Tony felt like he could finally breathe. “I will send you coordinates, be there in two hours.”

The king hung up the phone and Tony couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. Finally, finally he was going to see Neeva. Tony cancelled every meeting he had for the next month, not knowing when he’d be back. Then he called Pepper, letting her know he’d be out of town and unable to be reached. He didn’t say where he was going, but she prayed it would be to wherever Neeva was. She knew that Tony had been killing himself to find her.

Exactly one hour and thirty eight minutes later, Tony was waiting at the coordinates T’Challa sent him. He was anxious and excited, but most of all he was relieved. He was finally going to see his kid.

A jet landed ten minutes later and two Wakanda soldiers were waiting inside for him. They checked him over, making sure that there wasn’t any type of tracking device on him before letting him on board. 

They did not speak the entire flight, which Tony was grateful for. He was so anxious that he was too distracted to hold a conversation with anyone. He couldn’t help but to worry -- what if Neeva didn’t actually want to see him?

When the jet landed in Wakanda, T’Challa was waiting to greet Tony.

“Wow,” Tony breathed out as he looked at the kingdom in the distance.

“Hello, Tony,” T’Challa greeted him. 

“Thank you,” was all Tony could bring himself to say. “Thank you for taking her in and protecting her.”

“It is my pleasure,” the king smiled as he gestured towards the forest. “This way,” he explained and Tony’s brows furrowed together as he followed the king away from the kingdom. 

“Neeva has been a wonderful asset to Wakanda,” T’Challa said. “The villagers are very grateful for her capabilities, providing them with much relief from the Wakanda sun. Her and the White Wolf’s recovery was long, but I believe they are both stronger now than they were before -- both mentally and physically.”

“Who is the White Wolf?” Tony asked.

“Sergeant Barnes,” T’Challa explained. “At the one year mark of them both waking up, they plan to join our forces here in Wakanda. They will both be leaders.”

“What?” Tony breathed out. 

“It was their decision. Wakanda is a safe haven for them, they do not have to run or hide. We welcome them here,” T’Challa told him and Tony sighed. He knew the king was right. They were allowed to live their lives here, they didn’t have to live a life on the run. Of course they would want to stay here. 

“Where are we going?” Tony finally asked him as they walked through the woods.

“To their village.”

“They don’t live in the palace?”

“No, we wanted them to recover in a place where there were no distractions. We wanted them to meditate, to focus on their mental and physical health. The more simple the environment, the easier it is for the mind to rebuild itself.”

“But Neeva’s mind was never broken.”

“I must disagree, Tony,” the king stopped, turning to him. “A healthy mind does not allow itself to be taken over by powers. Neeva was broken from years of abandonment, manipulation, and self-loathing. After the war, she was lost, heartbroken, and depressed. The combination of these things was too much and she was not mentally strong enough to handle them.” 

“Oh,” Tony whispered. 

“The mind is a tricky thing,” T’Challa continued as he walked. “Without it, strength and powers mean nothing. Now, though, Neeva has control over her thoughts and her powers. She is strong.”

“And Barnes?” 

“He is a new man,” T’Challa smiled. “He is no longer haunted by what HYDRA did to him. His mind is his own now and no one is able to take that from him.”

“Thank god,” Tony breathed out. Tony couldn’t bare the idea of him being mentally unstable around Neeva. Tony saw firsthand how strong and powerful Bucky was.

Tony stopped in his tracks as they walked out of the tree line. He looked around slowly, taking in the village before him. It was beautiful, entirely different from the skyscrapers he was usually surrounded by.

“That is their hut,” T’Challa gesture to the hut in the corner of the village. It was almost tucked away by the forest.

“Their?” Tony arched a brow.

“They are never apart,” T’Challa chuckled. “And you will be staying in the one beside it, it is empty.”

“Oh,” Tony said. He wasn’t used to such accommodations.

“It is fully supplied with everything you will need. They will show you the way,” T’Challa told him. “You may remain here as long as you like, Tony.”

“I didn’t pack much,” Tony looked down at the bag he carried.

“Like I said, they will show you the way,” T’Challa turned to leave.

“Wait,” Tony stopped him. “Do you know where they are?” 

“That breeze allows me to believe they are about to walk out of the forest,” T’Challa smiled and began his walk back to his kingdom. Tony turned back towards the forest and just as T’Challa said, both Bucky and Neeva walked out, hand in hand.

She was different, he noticed. Her usually pale skin was tan and her blonde hair was white from being in the sun so much. Instead of designer brands, she wore linen pants and had fabric draped across her torso and shoulder. 

But those physical things aren’t even what he noticed. It was the way she carried herself, the way she looked up at Bucky and laughed. Her steps were lighter, her shoulders and head high. She looked happy. 

Bucky saw him first, stopping in his tracks. Her brows furrowed together, confused as to why the super soldier stopper. Then she looked Tony’s way. Before her mind could even process him being their, her feet were running towards him and she threw herself in his arms. 

He could have cried as he felt the familiar feeling of her cold skin around his neck. She held onto him, clung to him. 

“Dad,” she whispered and he held her close.

“Hey, kiddo,” he breathed out, so relieved to have her in his arms.

“How are you here,” she pulled away, her brows pulled together in confusion.

“I finally figured it out,” he told her. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“T’Challa let you come?” she asked confused and he nodded. 

“Picked me up a couple hours ago and flew me here himself,” Tony told her. “He said I can stay as long as I want, that I’d be in that hut,” Tony pointed to the one next to Neeva’s and she couldn’t help but to laugh. 

“I wondered what they were doing in there today. I can’t imagine you in a hut,” she giggled and god, he was so happy to hear that laugh. 

Bucky took a deep breath, walking over to them timidly. His and Tony’s last interaction flashed in his mind. 

“Dad,” Neeva pulled away, backing up so that she was beside her soldier. Tony noticed her chewing her lip nervously. “You know Bucky.”

“It’s nice to see you without a gun pointed at my head,” Tony extended his hand and Bucky shook it hesitantly. 

“Dad,” Neeva breathed out.

“I’m sorry,” Tony apologized. “I was just trying to break the ice.”

“Is this going to be okay?” Neeva asked, looking between the two men.

“Yes,” Tony nodded. “I’ve realized you didn’t have a choice in what HYDRA did to you. They literally brainwashed you. None of it was your fault. That wasn’t you and I have nothing against you, Bucky.”

“Thank you,” Bucky breathed out, relieved by Tony’s words. It was one of the only things that still haunted him. 

“Alright, well, I guess we’ll show you around and then we’ll make dinner?” Neeva suggested. Both men nodded and she led them to her and Bucky’s home. 

“So, this is where you’ve been?” Tony asked quietly as he looked around the hut. 

“Yeah,” she said softly, admiring her hut. They’d spent the last several months making it their home, building any furniture that they needed and organizing it the way the liked it. It was small, quaint, but it was their home. 

“And you’re happy?” he asked her and Bucky backed out of the hut slowly, allowing the father and daughter to be together. 

“I am,” she smiled as she shrugged. “I never thought that I could be this happy with so little. But I have almost everything I need.”

“Almost?”

“I don’t have you and Steve,” she said softly as she sat on her bed. 

“Do you love him?” Tony asked as he joined her on the bed. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her lips.

“I do,” she admitted. “God, I do -- and it’s terrifying.”

“Why?” he asked softly.

“What if he gets taken from me?” she whispered.

“You’re both safe here,” Tony assured her.

“But they’re searching for him, for us. I know they are.” 

“And they won’t find you. Neev, it took me an entire year and I had contact with you the whole time.”

“What gave it up?” she asked him.

“You were always vague about how everyone else was and then one day I heard Bucky in the background. I didn’t know who it was, but I did know it wasn’t Steve. Then I realized there was only one other person Steve trusted and only one other person that you would leave Steve’s side for.” 

“I’m glad you figured it out,” she told him. “I wanted to tell you but…”

“I know,” he whispered as he pulled her into a hug. “I want you to be safe but god, I missed you, sweetheart.” 

“I missed you, too,” she told him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Thank you for calling me and inviting me back into your life.”

“You’re my dad.”

“I know, but I really messed things up,” he sighed.

“That was a lifetime ago, you know I forgive you.”

“If it wasn’t for me and the Accords, you’d be able to come home.”

“We have to stop worrying about the past. What’s done is done,” she told him and he nodded. “How long do you think you can stay?”

“As long as I want,” he smiled at her. “Of course, if I just disappear people will get suspicious. Pep knows though, she can convince people I’m vacationing for a few weeks.”

“You’ll definitely get a tan,” Neeva laughed.

“I didn’t even know you could tan,” he laughed as he pulled away, looking at her. “You’ve definitely freckled,” he ran his thumb over her cheeks.

“I was definitely burnt for awhile,” she told him. “There was a long adjustment period.”

“This is a home,” he said as he looked around. 

“It is,” she smiled. “We worked hard to make it our home.”

“T’Challa said you help out the villagers?” 

“Oh yeah. Just little things with my powers; watering their plants, creating blocks of ice for them, creating a breeze in the village.”

“Little things,” he smiled and she nodded. “I know we talk every week but it feels like I know nothing about the last year for you.”

“Because you don’t,” she shrugged. “I didn’t tell you a lot of things because I couldn’t let you figure it out.”

“I’m just glad that you haven’t been held hostage this whole time,” Tony sighed.

“Did you really think that?” she laughed.

“I didn’t know what to think, Neev. However, I never thought that you’d have a love shack in the middle of Africa with your boyfriend.”

“Hey,” she laughed. “It is not a love shack.”

“It’s a love shack, Neevie,” Tony laughed. “Speaking of love, where did Romeo go off to?” 

“He usually disappears when I talk to you or Steve on the phone,” she shrugged again, standing up from the bed. “He’s probably under the avocado tree.”

“You have an avocado tree?” Tony asked as he followed her out of the hut. “You have an avocado tree.”

“And there he is,” Neeva smiled at Bucky. 

“I just thought you’d like a few moments,” Bucky looked up at her. 

“Now I’d like dinner,” she laughed, pulling him off of the ground. 

“Well, Tony, it’s a good thing you came on fishing day,” Bucky smiled at him. 

“You fish?” Tony looked at Neeva.

“And you will too if you want to eat the next few weeks,” she laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! All rights and characters with the exception of my original character, Neeva, belong to Marvel.


End file.
